Lamentations of an Egbere

From soccer to liquor: Taraba’s terrific approach to handling the coronavirus 

It is no surprise that the incredibly strong compliance with the measures put in place by the government to curb the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic has gone unnoticed, unpublicised and, as expected, un-lauded. It is my intention to cast light on same and to perhaps inspire other states to follow suit in what will most likely go on to be dubbed the “Taraba Example”.

From Our Allies

Nigeria: A satire | John Chizoba Vincent 

We are taking count of dead bodies in the streets. Those are the result of well-fed people. Those that saw a surplus of food and decided to kill themselves with it. Don’t mind them. Those dead bodies by our doorsteps are just fools who thought too much wine won’t harm them. The wine you brought for them to celebrate your already won 2019 election, they drank before the party started and killed themselves. Remember your Excellency that when a child that doesn’t know how to make money gets money from his father, he can’t control himself anymore.

Lamentations of an Egbere

Open letter: A courageous Almajiri queries President Buhari 

I am sure that you are aware that your state governors have found us a nuisance to be decisively dealt with. We have suddenly become unfit to remain in those states. Since cattle business no longer thrives at the moment, trailers used in conveying cattle are now being used to farm us out of the respective states. After all, we are regarded as being only a bit better than maalu.

From Our Allies

Nigeria Airways of blessed memory 

The causes of his death are still very much prevalent, but in a more toxic form, yet, they were planning to resurrect him again. They said Nigeria Airways will fly by December 2019. I guess they’ve used it’s wings as collateral for one of those loans they intend to collect. Or they’re not aware it’s already 2020. Iranu yii sha!

From Our Allies, Lamentations of an Egbere

A tale of two presidents and two celebrities 

If my tale conveys little or no sense to you, please pardon and bear with me. It is the sign of the end times that we live in — dubbed the 5G and COVID-19 age. Nothing is making sense again as common sense has contracted the coronavirus pandemic in Nigeria from a Chinese contractor, upon reporting at the facility that treats the disease, he was sent home for lack of bed space.