People booing Buhari in Maiduguri ‘not even up to 100,000’, says Odesina
ABUJA (The T.A. Report) ― Nigerians are giving too much credit to the incident in Maiduguri where President Muhammadu Boohari was jeered at by residents, Special Adviser on Media Femii Odesina…
Only Mr President deserves the glory
No one can win an election in Nigeria with questionable results except Mr President. He holds that record and he’ll never share that glory with anybody. Unarguably, the anointing flows from the top.
Eat the poor to save Nigeria: My political party manifesto | David Hundeyin
In this party, we believe that it is time to stop pussyfooting and do the needful with full awareness and zero guilt. We have been feasting on the poor for decades, pretending to regard them as humans in equal stature to us while sticking forks into them. Today LCC presents another way of doing things – a way that is transparent, fair and forward-looking.
I can’t forget the month Of FeBuhari
There is no way Nigerians should forget this month. Not because it’s been five years of repositioning Nigeria back to its rightful place in Africa, but because my eardrums and memory keep replaying the song, chorused by well-meaning, but blindfolded Nigerians five years ago. The chants of welcome to the month of FeBUHARI; a chant coined by Bubu supporters in a bid to sell the alleged converted democrat to Nigerians, and also to signify a new dawn for Nigeria, after — according to them — “the 16 years of destruction by the PDP.”
Fellow Nigerians, shall we discuss ‘up NEPA’?
It’s like approaching climax or sniffing cocaine; we are addicted to it. Even if it means some Albino would sit in an air-conditioned room in the Queen’s land and say we are underdeveloped or underdeveloping, that’s their problem. At least it’s our country and we have pledged to be faithful, loyal, and (dis)honest to it.
Nigeria and her watery standards
Let’s come home. Who needs much education or enlightenment to be a senator? You’d better perfect your bootlicking skills, master the art of making empty promises, follow the orders of your Alpha; and you’re on your way to Abuja.
Of Naija, empty barrels, and noise-making
Ever since the inception of Nigeria, her leaders have always been full of promises upon promises, without action. We should just rename the country the Land of Promise or the Federal Republic of Dreams.
May Nigeria never happen to you
Wait for it: If Nigeria should happen to you, your father would keep visiting the United States of America for the slightest headache, but he will emphasise that irrespective of how ill you are you must not go beyond the United States of Abule-Egba in the search for a cure to your ailment — in order to save some token for national development and increase the rate of underdevelopment in the country.
How many dollars per barrel is Qasem Soleimani worth?
I see how the White House, from the Secretary of States to the Defense Secretary, is trying so hard, interview after interview, to justify the assault on Iraq’s sovereignty and the assassination of Soleimani. It’s pitiful how much of a terrible job they are doing. For the first time since Trump became POTUS, this is the most selfless decision he has made, causing such a surge in oil prices, leaving every member of OPEC pleased and richer than the night before, this is an angle the White House should explore in defending the president’s action.
Satire 0-1 News: Kano’s tricycles, Lagos’ mistakenly electrocuted prisoners, and other stories
Facts are oftentimes stranger than fiction just as news is oftentimes more hilarious than satire. We live in a world (or country?) where journalists have, without intending it, become greater comedians than professional humorists. Don’t believe us? Keep reading.