Graduate devastated he has to pay to afford his career
“We need to build our country into a global force. But we can’t do that when our youths are bitching about pay and welfare. They need to tighten their belt and work hard.”
The disillusionment of a young satirist
“Soon things started to get downright weird. It started as a series of mere coincidences. The other day, thinking about how preposterous it would be to have government tone-deaf to the plight of citizens, I adapted the popular ‘Let them eat cake’ expression credited to Marie Antoinette into a satire for the Nigerian context. A few days later, our first lady told people to start frying akara.”
Who said that, racist or misogynist?
The misogyny of privileged people can be understood in a way – it’s awful, of course – since they’re not often discriminated against, they’ve never had to apply their whole lives to proving themselves competent in a way other groups are made to do, and they’ve never experienced the look when someone sees you in a position of power and squeezes their face in disbelief. Black men, on the other hand, have experienced all these. So, why are we not conscious enough to recognise it when we do it to women?
On a rainy day in Lagos
What seemed to be a sad and tense night for some people was a shower of blessings for other neighbourhoods. In fact, some residents saw the torrential rain as a heavenly call for waste collection.
Reactions as government rolls out plans for speech licensing authority
Sources close to the issue stated that the move is following several cases of defamation and misinformation, of which federal government officials and lawmakers have found themselves at the receiving end.
Why promote women in STEM when they can fry akara?
As usual, reactions flooded in, from lengthy commentaries to hilarious skits. A typical Nigerian coping mechanism. While defending Iya Alakara, the so-called progressive youth leaders held a press conference, proudly proclaiming that, instead of prostitution, frying Akara is a demonstration of dignity.
The Minister of Statistics
I know this might be surprising, but not every graduate needs a formal office job. If a graduate is regularly being sent to buy bread, recharge electricity units, collect parcels, or escort younger siblings to school, that individual is clearly rendering services to society. So my advice is that, if you know any unemployed youth around you, try to be sending him/her on errands. That way, we can increase youth employment to 100%.
‘We are not ordinary bandits,’ Nigerian terrorists insist
A coalition of Nigerian terrorist organisations operating under the umbrella of the Supreme International Terrorism Confederation has condemned attempts by government officials and members of the public to classify them as bandits, insisting that such descriptions diminish the professionalism of their work.
The giant sleeps, the bandits eat, the rice arrives
Well, I think the master strategist, the kingmaker, now king, does not have to care about his subjects or what becomes of them. That is not his cup of tea. His concern was always fulfilling his long-held dream of becoming king and changing the national anthem. He has achieved both. It is time to call it an administration.
Religion and five other things you need to win an election in Nigeria
In this part of the world, practising a religion is evidence of virtue and also a campaign strategy. Just to be safe, you could enable the three-factor authentication—go to a mosque on Friday, to church on Sunday and then pay a courtesy visit to Professor Fajemilohun’s shrine before major rallies.