where sa-tyres never go flat
where sa-tyres never go flat
I will begin my testimony by thanking our father in the lord, Superior Primate Reverend Doctor John Igbagbodola (JP), for his spiritual and emotional support and guidance over me, my family, and this church as a whole. You see, the devil is a liar. But as our father in the Lord used to say, there is no spiritual or physical attack that we cannot overcome with faith and the power of prayer.
Lapade: (a little perturbed) So, do you guys understand exactly what you are supposed to be doing here? I want this operation to be a 100% success. There is no room for excuses or mistakes. I want us to be very focused. A little mistake could cause this operation to fail, and I personally can’t afford that, please. I’ve got a lot riding on this, ejo.
Baba, your coming single-handedly brought back tourism to Kaduna. We had people trooping in from Zamfara, Borno, Katsina, Kano, Abuja, and many other states in the country. Whether they were paid or not, they came and got the opportunity to appreciate the beautiful Kaduna and her greenery; something people have been avoiding due to small small kidnappings here and there.
It is a job that lies within the expertise of Human Resources but at the same time pays its dues in Community Relations with a touch of Advertising, a brush of Public Relations and a splash of Computer Science, a stroke of Clinical Psychology and a hint of high school chemistry.
He said: “Egbere, you want to know why Nigeria’s best policies are formed in beer parlours and not in FEC meetings?” I said I want to know. He said: “First, in FEC meetings, everybody agrees with oga. If oga says black is white, they clap. In beer parlour, if you say black is white after two bottles, somebody will slap sense into you. That is checks and balances.” I wrote it down.
Speaking from my experience in fantasy and sitting-on-the-wall politics, being in the opposition is really simple.
We are still enjoying the transformer that you got for our street, although it eventually blew because people in this place don’t know how to manage light. We are also grateful for the borehole tank that you installed in our community. Even though it has been a month since it was completed and you have not come to inaugurate it due to your busy schedule, it has added to the beauty of our community.
Some social media commentators also raised some unserious concerns. One asked how we will identify those working against our party on election day. We own the city; we own the electoral body. We will supervise the ballot, and anyone whose thumb does not land on our party flag will be flagged for eviction.
“We need to build our country into a global force. But we can’t do that when our youths are bitching about pay and welfare. They need to tighten their belt and work hard.”
“Soon things started to get downright weird. It started as a series of mere coincidences. The other day, thinking about how preposterous it would be to have government tone-deaf to the plight of citizens, I adapted the popular ‘Let them eat cake’ expression credited to Marie Antoinette into a satire for the Nigerian context. A few days later, our first lady told people to start frying akara.”
