Never has a VC selection process caused this much controversy. For that alone, it is a notable season for  all OAU students. However, a myriad of other events has made this period more memorable. The events are not comical by nature. Their comical nature is an extension of the ability of Nigerians to cruise and find humour in the worst of circumstances.

It is no gain to say that Nigerian varsities are one of the breeding-ground of vices, and survival at these campuses is so rogue and tough. Some wouldn’t know or even believe all these, looking at the outer space of these campuses, beautiful and glamorous as they appear until such person gets admitted into them.

Damn! ASUU strike is a mess. For once, you’re intentionally home because of strike. The last time it happened, it was a year of tragic events: End SARS, Coronavirus Pandemic – hashtag Covid-19 and ASUU ; cursed country as it is!

You are seated there, head bent over an opened past question leaflet, amidst teenagers like yourself in a UTME tutorial. I am in your head, hoping you’d hear me whisper words that’d douse your ignorance scheduled to display in a minute from now. This is what I am muttering: to be a real gee is to love football. Below is the template of my unpopular opinion.

Getting married is not just the problem anymore too but maintaining a happy relationship and this is not just about avoiding the wrong kind of person or finding the right kind of person as it’s a cul-de-sac. It is not always easy knowing who is best for you when you don’t know how they will turn out in the future.

The action takes place in the living room of the unpaint and unfenced bungalow house of the Senate President in Abuja. He convenes a secret meeting to caution both houses on the dispute they usually have making them to be exchanging blows on the floor of the house.

I started out dumb and idealistic but that anomaly has since been rectified. Here are a few useful tips on how to be an undergraduate in Nigeria.

I know you’ve been made to believe that poetry is difficult blah blah blah. All those literature students mumbling about iambs and sonnets, calling big words to make you think you can’t understand or write good poetry. All lies! I’m here to debunk all that myth. Just adhere to my steps and you will see how great a poet you become.

The hall-mark of evolving adulthood is discarding household chores, like doing the dishes. It is below your new grade, and it has to stop. What if you were not given birth to? Na why you have siblings to do the work na. You are no longer the housemaid they think you are. They should suck it up.

With the situation of things in Nigeria, you do not need an eyewear to see that tins tuff. Getting by is no beans for average Naija youth, so everyone is into one business or another. For people of my generation, we call them ‘online vendor’, ‘CEO’. And, for every other youth like me with a Nigerian’s survival instinct, we refer to it as ‘side hustle’ (e go pay o!). So here are few tips to make your ‘hustle’ pay and make mama proud.

Fellow Nigerian students, as soon as you read this, it is not too late to consider a career path that does not require a university degree. You may decide to venture into the “crowd-pleaser” business, either as a motivational speaker, a pastor, or an entertainer. I hear these people are racking in millions of naira with each cheers and each Amens.

It was amidst the intense politicking for the governorship ticket of a major party in a south western state that an aspirant barged into my quiet suburb within the state. Flustered and embittered, he began a tirade, wailing against what he called the “nairanization” of our political system. This suave and urbane millennial had recently relocated from the Ottawa, Canada to “salvage his native state from the doldrums.”

There was a time when you were a big deal that even the US Dollars had nothing on you. Naira, you had a good thing going, kai! I mean, apart from the fact that you are sprayed in the air like insecticide by the same persons who enacted laws prohibiting anyone from doing same (how else do you expect them to show the world that they have arrived, eh?).

If you send a Nigerian witch a romantic message or poem, do not assume she has read it. Even if she has, she will pretend she hasn’t because such gestures don’t impress her. Same applies to dinner dates and flowers. The only romantic gesture you can offer that she will enjoy is when you go bankrupt in your attempt to make her feel good. Anything other than this and you are merely wasting your time.

As a lifelong member of the coven and after several postponements (of course), I have taken the pains and pleasure of compiling the beauty of the ways of the last minute people for the sheer purpose of sensitisation (these folks need to be educated). Nooo, I do not need to be praised. If I do not do it, who will? Others would procrastinate away, any way.