We, the Kano intelligentsia, are strongly in support of the content of the notofication letter as we have already understood the Jewish plot to destroy the religious charisma of our great state. Don’t ask me how come e know; when were intellectuals like me ever wrong? We are the defenders of Islam so we know better than you do.

As a creative, it is important to know the right platforms to market your creative hustle. First, the branding starts from you. Get yourself a pseudonym. Something like Pen Lord, Ijoba Creative, Einstein Junior, Bolaji Writes, ©pen queen, Horpheyemhi, Soyinka-in-Chief, Young Achebe, Shakespeare Words or any other name that comes off the top of your head would do. Get your friends to call your new divinely inspired name. You can get it customized on your shirts and books to make it stick faster.

To the gad who kills all our enemies for us and keeps our loved ones, we thank You. You know we don’t care if they have loved ones. We thank you for always killing them by fire and thunder even when they don’t die. We thank you for not letting our enemies catch us when we take what does not belong to us. For if we were caught they’d have called us thieves. Since they never caught us, we are not thieves. We are innocent.

As a federal university teacher under the umbrella of ASUU, you must agree to go for the longest vacations on a yearly basis in Nigeria. At least, using nine months for long vacation and the other three months for academic business will improve the condition of service and revitalisation of varsities.

The capabilities of the #EndSARS Promoters and their terrorists plan must really be a pain in the neck for the current CBN governor and to a large extent the federal government for him to keep meandering towards the newly proscribed #EndSARS Promoters each time questions are asked about the tracing of the funds for Boko Haram. A thing worse than Boko Haram is probably finally here and the government are getting jittery about it.

Sadly, the rate of Covid-19 infections has increased as a result of the so-called End SARS protest which was spearheaded by some internet fraudsters and hoodlums. But thank God the accounts of those who sponsored the movement have been frozen. A good one by the government! That’s a reward for protesting against good governance.

According to insider reports, the CCTV cameras suddenly stopped working at 8 pm in observance of the curfew imposed by the government. He said, “Our cameras at the Lekki toll gate have a high sense of moral duty which includes obeying the laws of the land. It is not unprecedented that the cameras refused to work on the night of the curfew. How do you truly give your all for a country if you don’t obey all her rules?”

The good people of Jos were amazing and kind people, they only took the palliatives and left the land. The state of harmony was almost disharmonised, actually the devil should be blamed. After the discovery of their own palliatives ware-house, Lucifer took the complexion of a shopping mall and other companies. He completely seduced the innocent people.

Day 12: Embassy hasn’t done anything so family comes on Twitter to tweet that Nigerian is missing and embassy isn’t helping.

Our dearest Mini Star cum secret agent has released a special diary of events leading up to his finding of a secret video recorder in the now infamous Lekki Toll Gate.