From Our Allies

There are no youth like my country’s youth 

I trust Nigerian youth. They understand that there is no way the kingdom of God will suffer violence and earth will be left out of the play. Who has the time to compose “take him out of the office” nonsense… when we have an endless number of songs composed by angry and faceless composers. Where is “We no go gree o, we no go gree!” or “Bubu, ole, Sarak ole!”?

From Our Allies

Secrets behind Major General Buhari’s ruthlessness | Tunde Odesola 

I didn’t forget that this incorruptible major-general is for everybody and for nobody. This is why he could proudly identify with his children’s numerous foreign certificates, but not with their tuitions. This is natural; honest major-generals don’t like stains on their starched khakis. They won’t look kindly at you if you blow the kakaki when you see their long, lean hands in the hot pot of soup and the palm oil tell-tale on their bony lips. Abeg, don’t ask me where the money could have come from; manna still falls in the Katsina desert, you unbeliever!

From Our Allies

The harvest is plenty but labourers are few 

Wailers have said this policy isn’t good. What’s not good about it? Nigerians can be selfish sha. There’s love in sharing nah. Wailers want to be enjoying all the improved health care system, motorable roads, economic growth, sound education, and all the benefits of good governance alone. Ahn ahn! Bubu, a man of wisdom and integrity, had to invite other African nations to share in our national prosperity through his immigration policy.

From Our Allies

One more sure way to become a rich Nigerian 

Let’s do the maths: In two hours, if you are on a busy road, you can collect N50 from nothing less than 100 cars or bikes. That is about N5000 daily and N150,000 monthly, in addition to your already guaranteed bumper salary. Well, you might have to share that with your colleagues; don’t be discouraged. Remember the saying, “if you want to go far, go with people”.

Feature, From Our Allies

The search for greener pastures│Seun Akioye 

I arrived in London in the winter, no jacket, no money save 20 pounds. I was armed with the book 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene — it actually belonged to Adeola Akinremi. I reckoned, by the time I had practised at least 20 of the laws on the white people, I would be rich and famous. As I struggled inside the cold on my way to Woolwich, I was planning which law I would deploy on the editor of The London Telegraph newspaper. I must get a job with that paper and I would start the next day.

From Our Allies

The ugly National Assembly and beautiful Nigerian roads 

No doubt, it is only when lawmakers discuss in a building with the most up-to-date interior design and perfectly working air conditioners that their brains can be in a condition to function well, to think critically, and arrive at more creative methods to carry out their legislative functions. This, of course, most importantly includes budget padding — because it is a naked truth that budget padding is an essential ingredient of economic growth and development.

From Our Allies

With all the condolence letters, none was sent to Mr Democracy’s family 

When we retrieved the autopsy of Democracy, we found out he was poisoned to death by tyranny. Ah! Tyranny! Tyranny that killed Democracy’s uncle, sisters and in-laws in Cameron, Zimbabwe, Tigo, Uganda and the likes. We have to ask Dr Buhari — the epitome of no-nonsense that he is — how the poison was smuggled into Democracy’s room at the hospital. There’s no way we will not investigate Dr Buhari, he must know one or many things about this issue.