Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our AlliesPolitics

The lion and the billions

Recent developments have cast doubt on the bravery of the once-feared lion. The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) beckoned on the former governor to explain how ₦82 Billion was looted. In a character unexpected of a lion, he has been hiding in the woods. The Lion, who is renowned for hunting, is now being hunted. How the might has fallen!

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From Our AlliesPolitics

Radio talk: ‘The election tribunal decision will favour me and my family’

Now, we will open the line for callers to contribute. The topic we have been discussing is: Ahead of the election tribunal judgement, what is your opinion? You already know the rules. Move away from your radio set. Do not use swear words. Remember, we are in the state of the ọmọlúàbí. And mention your name and where you are calling from. Hello, good morning.

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From Our AlliesPolitics

An old man’s sleep talk

At about 3:00 a.m., just before dawn on Wednesday, 15th of March, 2023, a chocolate-coloured old man, with a bald head, deserted beard and moustache, baggy face and fading eyes, stretches on his bed made of gold in his well-furnished master bedroom and begins a sleep talk that lasts for two hours. The white blanket that shields half of his body before now folds out over his uncontrolled stretch.

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PoliticsThe T.A. Report

Country that cannot save its people plans to rescue people who don’t want to be saved

The regional bloc, CEDEAO, is afraid the dark days of military rule from the 1960s will return, where soldiers would seize their source of income and refuse to let go after realising how profitable and intoxicating power can be in Africa. But Nijeyrians do not mind having khaki-wearing commandos formulate and implement policies. After all, they have had several decades of democracy but are still one of the world’s poorest countries — taking some of the stench away from Naijiriya.

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PoliticsThe T.A. Report

Nigeria’s Fmr Aviation Minister Was Also A Magician, Leaked Documents Show

Sirikka has been accused of spending N85.4 billion on an elusive national carrier he called Nigeria Air. He first unveiled the project in 2018 at an air show in London, promising that the skies would be full of Nigeria’s commercial planes by the end of the year. When the ovation faded out, though, all that was left was silence, dust, and a nice expensive logo — designed by some folks in Bahrain.

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