… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
His Excellency Bola Tinubu became the best option during the campaigning period the moment he screamed ‘Emi lokan!’ We just knew he was the one for the job; thus, the reason we went out en masse to vote him into power, leaving other top candidates with one or two votes.
When things get worse, we don’t rise to the occasion and actively seek a solution, we only raise the volume of our prayers.
Now, we will open the line for callers to contribute. The topic we have been discussing is: Ahead of the election tribunal judgement, what is your opinion? You already know the rules. Move away from your radio set. Do not use swear words. Remember, we are in the state of the ọmọlúàbí. And mention your name and where you are calling from. Hello, good morning.
At about 3:00 a.m., just before dawn on Wednesday, 15th of March, 2023, a chocolate-coloured old man, with a bald head, deserted beard and moustache, baggy face and fading eyes, stretches on his bed made of gold in his well-furnished master bedroom and begins a sleep talk that lasts for two hours. The white blanket that shields half of his body before now folds out over his uncontrolled stretch.
The regional bloc, CEDEAO, is afraid the dark days of military rule from the 1960s will return, where soldiers would seize their source of income and refuse to let go after realising how profitable and intoxicating power can be in Africa. But Nijeyrians do not mind having khaki-wearing commandos formulate and implement policies. After all, they have had several decades of democracy but are still one of the world’s poorest countries — taking some of the stench away from Naijiriya.
Buhari became a walking world power. He personally toured UK’s health facilities to ensure they weren’t below the standard he established in Nigeria. This is why he sent Nigerian doctors abroad at some point to teach the the foreigners how to carry out the profession effectively.
Sirikka has been accused of spending N85.4 billion on an elusive national carrier he called Nigeria Air. He first unveiled the project in 2018 at an air show in London, promising that the skies would be full of Nigeria’s commercial planes by the end of the year. When the ovation faded out, though, all that was left was silence, dust, and a nice expensive logo — designed by some folks in Bahrain.
Newly crowned Nigerian King, Bulaba Balablue, started his administration on a powerful note by declaring an end to fuel subsidy, a malaise that had hitherto kept Nigerians from unleashing their full potential and living their lives to the fullest.
Why did no one mention the god of commissions? That just like Yahoo boys sometimes need to spend money on silly things for their fortunes to continue to shine, politicians must commission stupid projects every year if they want to cling to power. They know the projects are ridiculous, but it is what the god of commissions demands.
