The Nigerian hierarchy of misfortune
By: Eboseremen Bartholomew 1/10/2019 Author: Francis Galton, Zooanthropologist This is an explanatory circular for our white concerned citizens who desire to visit the country continent of Africa. Specifically, its poorest…
Solution centre
By: ABAH, Abah Oyagaba IT seemed to Jerry within the three minutes of his climbing the in-between-forest mountain, with a cemented stairway and having hundreds of different categories of people…
Satire 101: Introduction to wife battery and assault
By: Timothy Edaki Unlike many courses in this University of Life, SAT 101 is a compulsory one for all men. It continues into second semester as SAT 201- Rudimental of…
Twitter and Giveaway: a Nigerian story of romance and abuse
Once, I asked my grandpa (who is Aristotle, by the way) why people in abusive relationships and marriages never run out of it, or do not do so on time,…
Surviving Nigerian universities: A soft manual
By: SALAUDEEN, Hawau Oluwakemi Here’s a friendly reminder that Nigeria is not like every other place, and so are the people. We are the people, and our thing is our…
Brain mind
By: Ajayi Blessing Paul ACT ONE SCENE ONE: On the Road Four men are seen on stage driving a Volkswagen 1960 Model. They are pot-bellied men. Their voices are so…
Holy man’s hypnotic show
By: Ogedengbe Tolulope Impact The lord’s bishop of our cathedral Is a disguised devil of the cross Who carves brilliant gems of deceit On the hearts of unwary congregants Who…
Letter to my next abuser
By: Oguntunji Abidemi Emman Dear next abuser, How I got your contact will remain a mystery – forever hidden! Even, I, the honourable messenger, don’t know how your contacts got…
How to be relevant in Nigeria
You see when you are doing well to the country, Nigerians will not be happy with you. If there’s adequate security and abundance of food, Nigerians will not acknowledge you. The best way you can be relevant in Nigeria is to have shortcomings in your duties as the President. Make sure there’s no adequate security even when you promise exactly that. Make sure the price of petrol increases drastically even when you promise a tremendous reduction.
Pray for our Yahoo brothers
By: Joseph Olamide Babalola Come on! Now is not the era to sleep and change gears snoring Not the season to watch GOT and forget our heroic panthers Hey, now…
Open letter to Mr. President: Let’s talk about the Muhammadu Buhari University
By: Abdurrahman Bello ONIFADE – by Chief Amefonlaye Dearest Mr. President, I am just happy writing to you. I can’t explain but I know even my happiness is happy too….
A Nigerian guide to becoming influential: The Invictus Obi starter pack
Nigerians are a humble people, they do not need much proof before they revere you. After all, N2,000 is enough to buy their votes. When you have started the foundation, the media and NGOs would start taking you more seriously. You would be invited to shows, and talks, both locally and internationally. In simple terms, you have blown.
Mediocrity is praying
See how all your prayers since 1960 have produced plenty crude oil refinery for the nation, many monumental projects apart from the ones the oyinbos left us with, ASUU has stopped striking like thunder, the number of our of school children has drastically reduced, and we even produce more foodstuff than we can take. See how we export our best hands abroad because of surplus development here, and portable water continues to reach all Nigerians. Sisi mii, aku adura o!
Menascum: The definitive guide to dealing with Mr No-Goods
By: Anifowoshe Ibrahim In my first year in the university, I lived with weed smokers. It was a room of Royal Highnesses with the smoke constantly floating miasma-like. Every day,…
Nigerian creation story
By: Aliogo Chika Eunice In the beginning, God created Nigeria and sighed. For Nigeria was without industries and institutions and ideas, and when God wanted to put those in place,…
Members of ASUU on strike over concern for students
By: Hamzat Mariam Following recent reports of members of the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) embarking on a nationwide strike, our correspondent, Kenny Olunloyo, who couldn’t help but take…
Join our WhatsApp ‘Mailing List’!
