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From Our Allies

When courts become degree-awarding institutions… (II) 

That decision of the Presidential Election Petition Tribunal will surely reduce perjury, forgery, corruption, false results being tendered. It will increase the number of degree holders in Nigeria. It will increase the number of “graduates ”. It will increase Nigeria’s “literacy” level. It will make getting degrees very easy. It will ease Nigerians of the stress of sitting for useless exams –WASSCE, SSCE, UTME etc. It will help to depopulate the already populated tertiary institutions. And it will help put Nigeria on the world map in terms of education.

From Our Allies

September to remember 

Diary, did you know it’s treason to yarb Mr President too? Mr Sowore’s mosquito has landed on PMB’s scrotum — he is the latest victim. But who is a treasonable felon? The person who toppled Shagari’s civilian govt. through a military coup or the one who complained of the decadence in the system?

Copyright: Adeeko Olusegun
Unseriously Serious

The Nigerian government’s guide to road maintenance 

There are some silly countries, such as Canada, that have created online forms and helplines just for people to complain about potholes. Every year, the city of Toronto alone spends millions of dollars repairing hundreds of thousands of potholes and then—wait for it—also gives progress reports to the people about how many potholes they’ve massacred. Who does that? Aren’t they aware that potholes are citizens with fundamental human rights? Don’t they know they are a necessary evil that deserve to be treated with love, care, and respect?

Credit: Modesty Ukeoma/Daily Trust Newspaper
From Our Allies

Nigeria Air, Africa’s largest airline, to suspend activities to South Africa 

I am pleased to announce to you that as part of efforts to bring the diplomatic relations between the GIANT OF AFRICA and the xenophobic South Africa to a very low ebb, the federal government of Nigeria under the leadership of Muhammadu Buhari has vowed that the activities of Nigeria Air, Africa’s best and largest air transport company, to South Africa will be suspended totally.

From Our Allies

This is what being Nigerian means 

Nigerians tired of the ill-treatment from one, who is supposedly their mother but doesn’t act like it, elope. They abscond hoping to get haven from other mothers. They try Mrs United States, Mrs South Africa, Mrs Lybia etc. with the mindset that since their own mother was so kind to foreigners, they too would be welcomed in open arms. How wrong they were.