Latest posts
How not to be an Aregbesola
It is by the grace of God that you have come this far. After many years as a loyal boy and many years in public service as a servant and a product of loyalty-market, I don’t need to tell you the importance of Thanksgiving.
Tips on staying woke and rocking the ASUU strike
ASUU has gone on strike and I know that your monthly allowances might be halted and you’ll automatically become the house boy/girl at home. Imagine a whole social media chic, a Slay Queen or Fine Boy on campus being asked to go and buy N100 Maggi. O wrong naw!
How to succeed as a writer in Nigeria
In Nigeria, the successful or soon-to-be successful writer must run away from see finish. It kills your career faster than cancer eating into an amoeba. Yes, see finish, in the barest minimum. According to the Dictionary of the Nigerian People (2022), see finish is to be “seen finished,” to be seen more than necessary, and therefore to be overseen.
How to be a third-force presidential candidate
With about 14 months left for President Muhammadu and his plagued administration to pack and go out of Aso Rock, Nigerians are more than eager for real change. After 8 years of strife and turmoil under APC, what more can we ask for?
Why we should make Prof. Osinbajo president
If only one thing is more important than voting Prof. Osibanjo President, it’s getting my PVC – Permanent Voters Card. The Electoral Act is incomplete until there is a provision that accords one more multiple votes according to how stressful the process of getting the said PVC was. Honestly, I do not see why I will go through all that wahala, sit through the sun and stand in the rain, just for the franchise, to cast one vote, a vote I can’t sell for up to N10,000, especially as this one wey things dey cost.
For the love of country
In his 1983 essay The Trouble With Nigeria, the traitor Chinua Achebe mischievously identified Nigeria’s problem to be, as he put it, “simply and squarely a failure of leadership.” Nothing, I assure you, could be farther from the truth.
Of societal norms that hold a handful of water
Never, I repeat, never should you act because actions come naturally to you. Never should you count hanging your hands like you have a bag strapped on it as a reflex. Never should you swing your arms or snap your fingers when you talk (even though it’s ingrained in you and you can’t help it). Let’s not even go near the bizarre act of batting your eyelids. Don’t be dumb.
Nigeria hires architects, photographers in bold move to address food scarcity
The government of Nigeria has shocked the rest of the world by employing professional architects and photographers in the hopes of finally nailing the problem of food insecurity.
How to recover from a bad break-up as a straight man
Break-ups can be harsh, painful and can make life suck a whole lot. Yet, people don’t talk about how hard it is for heterosexual men to deal with heartbreaks. Here is the talk: Heterosexual men, you don’t have to wallow in misery. Recovery is a shining sun; all you have to do is pull the curtains.
Another presidential aspirant visits Aso Rock
Amidst the gathering political storm towards the 2023 general elections, a presidential aspirant whose name I shall not reveal for fear of elimination has visited the president of this country to receive his blessing and sail ahead in his ambition.
New year, new miracles: How to give testimony in style!
Have you said a new year testimony in your church yet? If no is the answer, then you aren’t doing well at all. You are making it look as though the God of your church is not good enough to be testified of. I therefore implore you to do so as quick as possible as I’ll be writing for you a close to perfect guideline. You should testify.
‘Nigerian senator’ world’s best job, says study … ‘you don’t even have to do jack’
What’s more, he continued, all you need to be elected into office is some tangible business or political capital, a secondary school leaving certificate (genuine or not), and to have been born at least 35 years prior to the time of election (a fact which anyone hardly bothers to confirm).
‘Who am I kidding?’ … Local man postpones new year resolutions to 2023
“Perhaps 2022 is not my year after all,” he admitted to our correspondent, as he sipped a bottle of alcohol with a wry smile. “Initially, I thought maybe I’d start over in February. But it doesn’t have the same kick to it, you know.”
On the subject of x and y (chromosomes)
There are several ways that a man can prove himself useless. He can love Nicki Minaj, think pink is cute, enjoy k-drama, love cooking or (this disgusts me to even mention) be capable of tears. God forbid that you ever get entangled with a man who is capable of tears. The men in the above list are useless but the most useless of them all should be a man with female children. Weak men with weak spermicide who marry women with weak eggs to birth a weak shame. Tueh! I spit on them.
Go big or go home: A tribute to the Nigerian sense of justice
I have never been as proud of my country as I am these days. This country just makes my heart puff with pride every bloody time. You know, when religious people say, “actions are judged according to intentions,” I did not know it affected the judicial system too.
Gov. Obiano, listen to the voice of unreason
I am a 27-year-old businessman with a total net worth the average yahoo boy would blow without flinching, yet I believe I can hit the $1trillion mark before Elon Musk. You can call it wishful thinking but I call it Thinking Big — exactly what Governor Obiano should be doing with his political career.