Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our AlliesPoetry

I have taken my oath: No oat-meal for you

I have taken my oath: No oat-meal for you

By: Amos Stephen


You guessed right!

I am a Nigerian politician

A proud member of the noble profession of politics

Where we weave our dreams on your backs

After all, we’re the champions of the masses and paragons of virtue

Have I told you about my day?

You need not ask

My day is filled with tireless campaigning

Adequately escorted by my bullet-proof SUVs

To promise heavens to the masses

With the intention of filling my pockets first with heavenly gold

Don’t judge me

Haven’t you heard that charity begins at home?

What better home than my pockets?

My nights are usually for strategising

Accompanied by some bottles of Moet and Dom Pérignon

With chunks of ego in place of ice cubes

Of course, my speeches have to be epitomes of oratory

With a little touch of Messianic vibes

You know it won’t sound nice without fake promises

Of poverty alleviation, development and the idiomatic greener pastures

And better days, which are always ahead

I may not have a PhD in any governance-related course

But I sure am a Professor of diverting public funds

While maintaining my reputation as a beacon of hope

It is not an easy task

It requires the perfect balance of charm and cunning

I have taken my oath of office

I don’t really care whether you have wheat and oats

The funny thing is that my two terms are assured

The cycle continues

I earnestly hope that the people continue sleeping


Bwala Stephen Amos is currently a law student at ABU, Zaria. He’s a sarcasm advocate and loves to see good word combinations. He has a special place in his heart for puns right under Chess and good movies. He can be contacted through X (formerly Twitter), LinkedIn and Gmail.

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Anonymous
Anonymous
5 months ago

Nice poem
It captures Politicians in entirety.

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