… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
The wars ended and Hafiz started a conquest. It would become the only bloodless conquest in the history of the human race. Within thirty years, Hafiz became the Supreme Charismatic Leader (an office created specially for him) controlling the United Nations. On Marlianry 5 2050, he changed the UN to No Battle Ground (NBG) and proceeded to create global peace through disarmament.
The year is 3100 and memes have been banned. The Interplanetary Alliance (replaced the United Alliance, which replaced the UN) now sits in Lagos, Nigeria. The IA is an alliance of Humans (CEOs of the top one percent tech companies), Robots, and life forms from other planets.
The person who convinced women that their freedom is in nakedness and body positivity lies in indecent exposure scored a screamer for patriarchy. Legend.
ABUJA (The T.A. Report) ― The arrival of Nigeria’s long-expected child, Vision 2020, may in fact not take place this year, according to […]
Let’s do the maths: In two hours, if you are on a busy road, you can collect N50 from nothing less than 100 cars or bikes. That is about N5000 daily and N150,000 monthly, in addition to your already guaranteed bumper salary. Well, you might have to share that with your colleagues; don’t be discouraged. Remember the saying, “if you want to go far, go with people”.
I arrived in London in the winter, no jacket, no money save 20 pounds. I was armed with the book 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene — it actually belonged to Adeola Akinremi. I reckoned, by the time I had practised at least 20 of the laws on the white people, I would be rich and famous. As I struggled inside the cold on my way to Woolwich, I was planning which law I would deploy on the editor of The London Telegraph newspaper. I must get a job with that paper and I would start the next day.
No doubt, it is only when lawmakers discuss in a building with the most up-to-date interior design and perfectly working air conditioners that their brains can be in a condition to function well, to think critically, and arrive at more creative methods to carry out their legislative functions. This, of course, most importantly includes budget padding — because it is a naked truth that budget padding is an essential ingredient of economic growth and development.
This is a reality that goes beyond politics but extends to education, health, entertainment and every other sector. In saner climes, however, an applaudable development is when a previously sophisticated process is made easy, but you must understand that when God cursed Adam that he would sweat before putting food on the table, he allotted that to his Nigerian descendants and gave his other favourable qualities to the abroad.
That’s not all? You guys should wait, I’m hearing something about the Oyo State 2020 budget. HE DID WHAT? Allotted 22.3 per cent of the state budget to education alone? That’s hitting the UNESCO benchmark nah; it’s unbelievable. What is this man trying to do na? Is it that he doesn’t want a second term or what? If you end up educating the entire Oyo State in your first four years, how then do you intend to win re-election in 2023?
Explaining the president’s strange toilet hobbies to the T.A. Report, presidential spokesman Garuba Shior said, since the new acquisition, Buhairy has spent more time in the restroom than he has in his office or even his (otherwise highly cherished) other room.
