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The Marlian Empire: A brief history on human history

The Marlian Empire: A brief history on human history

T​​he year is 001 Marlian Era (ME) and the world has been rearranged into three regions: Natural Marlians (NMs), Marlians Ensuite (ME), and Barbarian Marlians (BMs). The NMs used to be Africans and Europeans. The ME covered the regions formerly known as Asia, and Oceania. The BMs are the rest of the world.

The Marlian Conquest started as a slow, peaceful, and delightful movement from Lagos, Marlian Republic of Nigeria, which is now the capital of the Marlian Empire. The first Marlian was a lanky man, with legs intertwined like ropes, named Hafiz Fashola. His fame grew after he was arrested for allegedly defrauding and impersonating Caucasians.

He innovated dances like soapy and tesumole, while also aligning himself with the popular Zanku movement by an artist that burned fast like Candle. His name is not recorded in history books. Though we read that Zanku was a movement at some point in our history, it was nothing close to the Marlian Dance.

NM swept through Nigeria and the rest of the world during the unrest of the WW3 between the Marlian States of America and the Arabic Marlian Emirate of Iran. This was in 2020AD. NM offered a panacea to world peace by asking angry Leaders to dance Tesumole at 1:00 am every day for a week, and they’ll soon realise that the world would be better if we made love and not war.

The changes were fast and vast. American soldiers were seen attempting Tesumole in Iran, Afghanistan, and Iraq. The videos went viral and the soldiers faced court marital. The world went wild in amusement when the Military Court broke into a Tesumole dance as Judges shouted, “Ọmọ ìyá mi, mo wa pẹ̀lú ẹ, má fo”.

POTUS Trump’s video dancing to Tesumole soon leaked, and he first denied that his hair is blonde as opposed to the orange-haired dancer in the video. He eventually came out of the closet and was embraced by top military chiefs.

The wars ended and Hafiz started a conquest. It would become the only bloodless conquest in the history of the human race. Within thirty years, Hafiz became the Supreme Charismatic Leader (an office created specially for him) controlling the United Nations. On Marlianry 5 2050, he changed the UN to No Battle Ground (NBG) and proceeded to create global peace through disarmament.

Three Marlian years later, a revolution started.

This revolution started the Global Marlian Dance (GMD) contest, which ended up separating the world into three regions. His Excellency, Supreme Charismatic Leader, Hafiz ascended to the heavens on Marlianber 10, 2055. The world was thrown into chaos. There was a scramble for who the next leader would be. Joe Abah, Ogbeni Dipo, Segalink, and Elnathan John, the Four Sage Marlians came together in Lagos, and appointed a new Marlian Leader; Zinoleesky.

Zinoleesky went to work immediately and restarted time. He started the Marlian Era which we are in today. We don’t know what is left for Zino to achieve that Hafiz hasn’t, but we hope his era will forever unite the three Marlian regions so that we can all do MD without discrimination.


Marlian Princely X, Minister for Love and Light.

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