Penkelemesi

Exclusive: The true story of how greedy capitalists killed Jesus because “he was bad for business” 

Pontius Teenubew’s small frame competes with the dust he is gathering as he completes his passionate address to the Council of the Rich, “I can’t sell wine easily, because nobody wants my wine when Jesus can turn water to wine. Mazi Jonathan can’t sell his fishes, because this Jesus can multiply them. Look at Healer Adamu, nobody wants to see him when they can wait for Jesus. If we don’t end Jesus now, he will end us!!!”

Penkelemesi

Five lessons I picked from paintballing 

When a paintball bullet hit me, I forgot for about 76 seconds, how to feel anything. My arm went limp, and my gun dropped. Theatrically, gravity failed me, and my body followed. I was moving between two defence points when the bullet hit me. At that moment, I understood why the girl I emptied a magazine on kept on screaming after every shot hit her. You do not get used to this pain; you become helpless in the face of it. Avoid this pain by staying unborn.

Penkelemesi

Gatekeepers, Wrinkled Paper, and Littlefinger 

Brevity, they say, is the soul of wit. Coynobi, however, made a joke that got all of us laughing, and it wasn’t short. It was a circus performance. Since the lockdown started, everyone has been starved of entertainment; moving from one challenge to the other, one movie to the next, twitter turf wars, and on this day, the baton fell on the writing community.