… where sa-tyres never go flat


Similarities between you and the novel coronavirus

Similarities between you and the novel coronavirus

We carry so much hate and fear as humans, that we wouldn’t walk any faster than a tortoise if our emotions were physical burdens. This reactionary phobia for novel things has blinded us from seeing the silver lining of COVID-19. Our refusal to acknowledge that this virus is like us is a subtle acceptance that it should continue to treat as us statistics; taking us down in numbers, with no regard for us as persons. Students from the Non-existent Academy of Walrus (NAW) have –after laboratory observation and research– identified the similarities between humans and COVID-19


  1. It has a family

The human need to be part of a functional family unit has kept the race moving. This intricate feature is something the COVID-19 shares with humans. As we do belong to nuclear and extended family units, so does COVID-19. Although the information gathered by Laie Internazionale (LIe) says the Coronavirus family is currently not on talking terms because of the overnight success of COVID-19, its siblings SARS and MERS are flag fliers of the Coronavirus family. Like COVID-19, like humans


2. It craves physical affection

Humans and COVID-19 are best described like Cattle egrets and cattle; both surviving on an intrinsic nature that keeps them alive. For the cattle/egret, it is feeding. For COVID-19 and humans, it is physical touch. Humans want to be touched, and when they can’t be touched, they touch themselves. COVID-19 wants to be touched and to touch as many people as possible. Like humans, like COVID-19; we all survive on physical touch.


3. It gets easily misunderstood

How many times have you had to act irrationally because you have been misunderstood… many times? I was asking COVID-19, but you seem to have answered in the affirmative. In Italy for instance, COVID-19 only wanted to play with a few thousand people at a time, but the Government thought he was only interested in the lungs of its playmates. Imagine being accused of murder when you’re only trying to help people improve their overall hygiene while having fun.


4. It wants to see the world

The Vitiligo Respondents Un Sociatelle (VIRUS) released a report in September 2019 that over 70% of people in a test involving over two million people said they would travel around the world if it was free, 20% said they would visit only a few countries, while 10% said they would rather eat Pizza from their couch.

Does this sound familiar yet? Wuhan? China? Hong Kong? South Korea? Europe? America? Africa? You want to see the world, it wants to see the world. The sad thing is, there is only space for one; humans seeing the world or COVID-19.


5. It likes filth

Just as you, the COVID-19 enjoys filth. It moves across countries flying on Filth to Filth Airways. Do you deny your filthy behaviour? Then why is there so much dirt –and death– in the world? COVID-19 lives on this shared feature to duplicate itself across countries of the world, permeating our conscience, lungs, and lives.

Next time you want to hate the COVID-19, ask yourself if you are not hating it for something that you do too.

4 2 votes
Article Rating

Share this post

Wanna leave a reply?

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x