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Okada riders do have more than one life, new study reveals

Okada riders do have more than one life, new study reveals

Commercial motorcyclists are notorious for driving without regard for their life. Well, it is because they have so many they can afford to be reckless, a new study now tells us.

“It is a mystery that has dumbfounded researchers for decades. But we finally confirmed what a lot of people have been suspecting,” said Dr Balls Haliru, who led the multidisciplinary research team at the University of Bustin.

“What we discovered is that every okada [bike taxi] comes with pre-installed backup lives. This is what gives the riders confidence to compete with trucks on highways, drive against traffic, hit the roads without helmets, drive with both legs in the air, or even conduct routine maintenance of their bikes while in motion.

“It is no coincidence that the word okada has its origins in Edo state, south-south Nigeria. We all know what that place is famous for.”

The only downside, Dr Haliru clarified, is that the mysterious life insurance only covers the rider and not their passenger. “Also, no one knows for certain how many lifelines each person is entitled to.”

Scientists are still trying to find out if they can harness this discovery to give other professionals immunity from work hazards.

When The T.A. Report contacted Nigeria’s Ministry of Transportation for comments, they replied that they had known this for a long time.

“If you hear that any okada rider dies in a road accident, it is because the person has used up all their allotted lives. It wasn’t their first death on the job.”

The spokesperson explained that this is why the government has been lax in regulating the sector. The okada-riding business is one of the easiest to get into in the country. You do not need a licence. You do need to wear safety kits. You do not even need to be an adult. According to data from the Global Bank, at least 20 per cent of okada riders in Nigeria are underage.

“I used to think that people who were suicidal just used to get okadas and ride carelessly so that they could feel something,” Wabi Lasayi, a poor Nigerian who cannot afford e-hailing services, told us. “But now I know better.”

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I am Tubosun, the first son of Ajanaku; and my forte lies in casting light upon the bottomless pits of societal ills through the pastiche of news and satire.

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