With love from a Nigerian: Open letter to Buhari’s new Chief of Staff
Dear Sir, Being the sharpshooter (that misses most times), that I am, I like to (and would) hit my target without much ado. I listened with rapt attention as my…
Open letter: A courageous Almajiri queries President Buhari
I am sure that you are aware that your state governors have found us a nuisance to be decisively dealt with. We have suddenly become unfit to remain in those states. Since cattle business no longer thrives at the moment, trailers used in conveying cattle are now being used to farm us out of the respective states. After all, we are regarded as being only a bit better than maalu.
Good lawd, how should we mourn our leaders?
The Holy Book, The Glorious Book and the divine inscriptions indelibly etched in the minds of our elders have unanimously called us to mourn the dead alongside their families and to give them befitting burials. But what if the said leader is a Nigerian (leader)? – A name more corrupt than corruption itself. How should we mourn them?
‘Why do good people die young?’… Heartbroken Nigerians mourn Kyari’s death on Twitter
It all started with Tife (@tife_fabunmi) who said he still cannot believe the great man is no more and has not been able to close the tap of his tears. “Why do good people die young?” the young man asked, overwhelmed with grief and extreme love for his country.
BREAKING: Nigeria loses Mr Social Distancing
Few hours after the demise of one of the most powerful Nigerians, Abba Kyari, Nigeria again loses another powerful statesman, Mr Social Distancing, also known as Mr SD, who had been helping the country to curtail the spread of the novel coronavirus, otherwise called COVID-19.
Nigeria records new case of COVIDIOT, total now 11
A former presidential hopeful, Garba Adamu, has been added to the list of COVIDIOTS in the country. Mr Adamu has now joined ten others, mostly political and religious leaders, who…
Baba God, we’re grateful coronavirus met us prepared
The power of prayer and gratitude can never be overemphasised, especially in Nigeria. So, Heavenly Father, we bless you for your protection over us, for opening our eyes to institute health facilities in core places prior to this pandemic, for the steps we have taken in combating this corruption-borne virus, for granting us strong immune systems, and for our foresight in writing a letter to the National Assembly about strict compliance to rules. Baba! We’re forever grateful.
Covid-19: Nigerians hoard empathy, urge infected politicians to locate ‘nearest transformers’
“We, in fact, urge all Nigerian politicians whom the universe has favoured in the ongoing matchmaking with coronavirus to locate the nearest transformers for their empathy,” he concluded, adding that they should remember not to touch anyone on their way to the deadly electrical devices.
Nigeria’s grand ayatolla, Abba Kyari re-appoints self as chief of staff
ABUJA (The T.A. Report) ― Alternate reports reaching us say Abba Kyari has finally re-appointed himself as the federal government’s Chief of Staff. In a letter of notification to presidential…