BREAKING: Nigeria loses Mr Social Distancing
Few hours after the demise of one of the most powerful Nigerians, Abba Kyari, Nigeria again loses another powerful statesman, Mr Social Distancing, also known as Mr SD, who had been helping the country to curtail the spread of the novel coronavirus, otherwise called COVID-19.
You-high authorities launch AWO 234 to teach female students punctuality
Information reaching our correspondent from credible sources is that You-high authorities have added a new course, titled AWO 234, in the university curriculum basically to address the issues of lack of punctuality among female students.
You-High authorities endorse SU presidential candidate, VC explains why
“I see nothing bad in damaging banners so far it’s not the school’s properties,” he said. “The aspirants should feel free to do what they like, but what they don’t know is that the results of the elections are ready. So they would only be foolish to keep antagonising themselves. Our preferred candidate for President is from Law.”
Nigerians and the so-called African time
Nigerians’ great respect for time is shown in their creation of another form of time that best suits their demands, known as the “African time.” So when a Nigerian fixes time for some important event, don’t be surprised when the event starts at the allocated time, the next day. That’s among the wonders of the African Time.
How to be relevant in Nigeria
You see when you are doing well to the country, Nigerians will not be happy with you. If there’s adequate security and abundance of food, Nigerians will not acknowledge you. The best way you can be relevant in Nigeria is to have shortcomings in your duties as the President. Make sure there’s no adequate security even when you promise exactly that. Make sure the price of petrol increases drastically even when you promise a tremendous reduction.