Information reaching our quarters has it that You-High, the Ibadan-based university, will give up on its virtual learning programme, owing to repeated trials and errors that have failed to sustain academic activities.

A very competent source close to the VC, Prof Eekanna, says the university knows it can’t hold on to the virtual learning of a thing but remains adamant because all eyes are on her.

“You see, my brother, they know (referring to the sin-ate body) that the virtual programme won’t work, but they won’t admit it. Very soon the reality will dawn on them. Awon oniyeye,” the source stated.

The students are visibly angry that academic activities have not started but none of them is willing to bell the cat. Most recoil any time our correspondents attempt to have their opinion. “You see, I cannot afford to be sdc-ised because we’ve not started lectures,” Bashorun Ogunmola (not real name) managed to say, amidst fits of cough.

As of the time of reporting, the university has not sent guidelines on how the virtual learning programme will work; it has only released dis-jointed statements on the resumption of learning activities which have puzzled the students the more. The fresh students are particularly incensed that they may not achieve the best of learning, and have written on their placards “3rd. Week. Of Resumption. Nothing. Nothing.” But they are afraid to actually stage a protest.

Another source who is part of the team in charge of the virtual learning platform, however, assured us that learning will start and that the students need to be calming down. “Everything is set. Virtual learning is the new-normal. We’ll embrace it. In fact, the students need to,” the source stated when our correspondents met him at his office. “The university cannot afford to make any errors. That’s is why it appears we are starting late,” the source added.

While our correspondents were about to leave, our source’s secretary called us behind, away from the hearing of her boss and said everything our source said was “lori iro.” “Iro ti po repete, oti po repete, iro po,” she sang as she sashayed her buttocks and danced back in.

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