… where sa-tyres never go flat

Truthful Jokes

Who is a Nigerian police officer?

Who is a Nigerian police officer?

Those who are quick-witted will perhaps have a common answer to this question. A Nigerian police officer is someone whose job is to safeguard the lives and properties of the citizens. That, I believe, is the job of every security-conscious citizen too.

In the past months when robbery attacks were incessant in Kutuwenje, it was Baba Kamoru that mobilised men in the neighbourhood to repel these attacks, while Constable Taiwo was patiently waiting at the police station to report cries of how much money and other valuables were stolen.

A Nigerian police officer is a responsible person, dutiful, and full of integrity but then they are hard to find. To this effect, I have compiled a mini list that helps identify a Nigerian officer. Here you go!

A Nigerian police officer asks sexist questions: You don’t have to be surprised. A Nigerian police officer will leave out relevant questions to ask irrelevant questions during interrogations especially when you are a lady unfortunately caught in a crime scene. Interrogations that will determine whether or not you are an accomplice will be forsaken for questions like: Who deflowered you? Did you or did you not have casual sex? Are you in a relationship or not? Before you argue otherwise, think Wyclef.

He boosts national economy: I honestly do not know why this great job of a Nigerian police officer is under-reported in this country. When a Nigerian police officer transacts business with temporary Samaritans at cheque points and bursary stops, the money generated therein is deposited in the nation’s sole account and used to finance budget.

He is our friend: For the friends of law defaulters who have visited Nigerian police stations frequently, you’ll always see an inscription that reads: Police is your friend. This is very true, so we must in turn take them as our personal persons by giving gifts to appreciate their hard work whether or not we commit an offence.

He is a party loyalist: For the stubborn citizens who have been tear-gassed at one occasion or the other by Nigerian police officers while demonstrating that so and so person must go, you are the architect of your own misfortune. When you are shouting, disturbing the peace of the neighbourhood with your solidarity chants, you don’t know you draw the ire of party members the police officers work for, ehn? Don’t you know, like someone said, that the Nigerian police is a commodity bought and sold by politicians?

He multitasks: A Nigerian police officer’s job does not stop at policing alone. He is a custom officer, he checks whether or not you carry contraband;  he is a Vehicle Inspection Officer, he checks whether or not your vehicle is in good condition; he is a prayer warrior, he prays for you when you slap his hand with Euro or Dollar (because Naira has become devalued). A Nigerian police officer, in fact, also rescues soldiers in distress.

Peace out!

4.3 3 votes
Article Rating

Share this post

Balogun Onigedu engages in casting the light of justice on the darkness of the society's ills.

Wanna leave a reply?

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x