Information reaching our correspondent from credible sources is that You-high authorities have added a new course, titled AWO 234, in the university curriculum basically to address the issues of lack of punctuality among female students.
The new course will be taken by female students every second semester. Asides from punctuality, the knowledge of AWO 234 will reportedly curb cases of insecurity and theft at the female halls of residence.
The course, which was launched between yesternight and early this morning, saw close to 100 female students forsaken outside their hostel for arriving between 10:00 and 10:30 pm. It was a glamorous event as item seven (7) was highly guaranteed; after all, the girls were fed to mosquitoes and other blood-sucking insects.
The proponent of the course, Dr Guguru, the housemaster of Hawo Hall, said the course will also enhance the ladies to be good wife materials.
She was quoted as saying, “By allowing mosquitoes to feast on the ladies and opening them to danger for not being punctual, we were training them to be hardworking wives. We are building in them strength and character.”
Dr Guguru hopes other visionary housemasters would likewise force their student-residents to study that course. She is particularly delighted when the in loco parentis school management chose to ignore the students’ pleas and cries while lauding her uncommon policy. “It pays to be wicked,” she said.
When reminded that, as a lecturer, she is on no record of punctuality, Guguru said the students are only foolish to take after her, harping that her job is not to be a role model to them.
“As a lecturer, I don’t attend lectures. Even when I do, I don’t come early. I don’t expect a reasonable student to take after my character,” she said matter-of-factly.
Our correspondents tried to get in touch with the affected students but they weren’t eager to speak. One student who managed to utter some expression amidst a blenched face only said, “SDC is real.”
Our correspondents later discovered that AWO 234 has in fact not been ratified yet by the school sinate. When we contacted the Vice-Chancellor, he replied that he unconcerned as what only matters to him is how to convince the sinate to grant him the opportunity to serve again.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.