… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
Speaking of gold, I apologise for the delay in the latest shipment. That rodent—you see how he keeps coming up?—has been attacking the mines. You’d think the country with the largest reserve of minerals in the world would be able to shrug off disruptions caused by a ragtag band? I’m surrounded by incompetents. I might take your daughter’s suggestion and insist appointed ministers are vetted first. But we would need a legislature in place for that.
Some Muslims, obtained WhatsApp chats have revealed, also believe the virus outbreak is God’s way of punishing disbelieving nations and bad people in general. Dr Abubakr Imam Aliagan, a “renowned Islamic scholar”, has in fact encouraged Muslims to continue visiting mosques for prayers in their numbers since they are spiritually fortified against the plague.
By: Uzuazo Onwah (@ouzuazo) Beasts of Mainland, Beasts of Island, Beasts of creeks and Northern sands, Let us mourn th’impending parting Of […]
Information reaching our correspondent from credible sources is that You-high authorities have added a new course, titled AWO 234, in the university curriculum basically to address the issues of lack of punctuality among female students.
“There is a reason some diseases are called diseases of affluence,” he said. “Nigerians deserve better than diseases of poverty like Lassa fever and Malaria. We should be quick to replace them with Western afflictions like coronavirus, cancer, obesity, and hypertension. That’s not too much to ask, is it?”
Facts are oftentimes stranger than fiction just as news is oftentimes more hilarious than satire. We live in a world (or country?) […]
ABUJA (The T.A. Report) ― Nigerians are giving too much credit to the incident in Maiduguri where President Muhammadu Boohari was jeered at […]
No one can win an election in Nigeria with questionable results except Mr President. He holds that record and he’ll never share that glory with anybody. Unarguably, the anointing flows from the top.
In this party, we believe that it is time to stop pussyfooting and do the needful with full awareness and zero guilt. We have been feasting on the poor for decades, pretending to regard them as humans in equal stature to us while sticking forks into them. Today LCC presents another way of doing things – a way that is transparent, fair and forward-looking.
There is no way Nigerians should forget this month. Not because it’s been five years of repositioning Nigeria back to its rightful place in Africa, but because my eardrums and memory keep replaying the song, chorused by well-meaning, but blindfolded Nigerians five years ago. The chants of welcome to the month of FeBUHARI; a chant coined by Bubu supporters in a bid to sell the alleged converted democrat to Nigerians, and also to signify a new dawn for Nigeria, after — according to them — “the 16 years of destruction by the PDP.”
