#BoJexit: Blood of Jesus flees Nigeria, relocates to Canada
“I have been enduring this for decades and I have honestly been trying to cope, when Nigerians buy a new car, they cover it with the blood of Jesus, when they build a new house, they cover it with the blood of Jesus, when they start a business, they cover it with the blood of Jesus, when they are going on a Journey they cover it with the blood of Jesus, when they are investing in a Ponzi Scheme, they cover it with the blood of Jesus, even their lives are covered with the blood of Jesus!
Buharii wonders why Nigerians are still protesting despite high-level meetings
“What have we not done in the past two weeks? We have released what, about 10, press statements? I have met with several government officials and shared clear pictures of these high-level meetings to assure Nigerians of my personal involvement. We have in fact, you know, technically defeated SARS and replaced two of the letters. My wife’s solidarity tweet did not even have any effect,” he lamented.
Marlians don’t follow instructions: A report on Thursday’s #EndSARS protests
“If you’re not an armed robber why will you be afraid of SARS, I have lived in Lagos for over 30 years and SARS has not harassed me one day, why will they be moving around with big big phones as young as they are; where did they get the money?”
“I have never received bribe all my life” — Ameshi to sue Magun for plagiarism
From my sources close to the Honorable Minister, I can authoritatively tell you that when news broke out Wednesday that Mr. Magun uttered words during a meeting with the press on never receiving a bribe in his life, the honorable minister was left flabbergasted, utterly astonished, and vowed to fight like every struggling Nigerian out there to protect his verbal properties.
A comprehensive guide on how to act straight
I’m well too, just that I’ve been ruminating over what you said the last time we talked: “I’m on WikiHow reading an article on straight-acting.” I vowed not to reply until I found you some help. To make this happen, I had to examine the trail of ash you’re leaving behind for people to see, and browsing your Facebook profile and your Medium articles on self-discovery, the bells started to ring: “This boy is CLEARLY gay! This boy is clearly GAY!”
Criminal responsibility in Nigeria: The Devil did it!
Rape, stealing, kidnapping, armed robbery, you name it… The common refrain amongst the perpetrators of these crimes in instances where they have been apprehended is thus, “the devil made me do it”, “it is the work of the devil…”
Outspoken Nigerian activist keeps forgetting she’s married to the president
Meanwhile, experts have suggested the unusual pain experienced by the first lady might be because “she often stretches her neck to look for solutions outside the presidential villa when they are right beside her”. Given her recent press statement, they added, Nigerians should expect that more state resources will be spent on additional trips to the United Arab Emirates.
How to be a respected female in Nigeria | Ololade Ajekigbe
Get married: Let no one deceive you, if you plan to remain single for a long time or even forever, then you must be ready to entertain snide remarks and different shades of marginalization all through your days. As long as you live in these climes. It really doesn’t matter if you make history as the first female rocket scientist to ever come out of the country.
How to woman your man
Today marks my 25th wedding anniversary. Twenty-five years that I have lived with my man. This longevity I celebrate today only came as a result of my unflinching assertiveness. From my reservoir of experience, I will be sharing a few lessons with you. Lessons that if you adopt, ladies, your marriage will be just as lengthy—if not lengthier— and merry.
Excelling in WAEC with no worries
Our students are the golden eggs. Although, they still have to dress in those tightly fitted uniforms. They still have to read (or pretend to read), and be secondary school students just this last time. They still have mathematics to write on Monday. “Nothing to worry about, the good Lord works in mysterious ways.”