Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

Losing the birth lottery

Once you are born in Nigeria, you already have the special privilege of being a citizen of the poverty capital of the world. At this point, you must pray hard even before you can talk, so you are not one of the 4 in 10 Nigerians living in extreme poverty. If you even happen not to be at the point of birth, your prayers must not cease, lest you are one of the 6 Nigerians falling into poverty every minute.

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From Our Allies

May Nigeria never happen to you

Wait for it: If Nigeria should happen to you, your father would keep visiting the United States of America for the slightest headache, but he will emphasise that irrespective of how ill you are you must not go beyond the United States of Abule-Egba in the search for a cure to your ailment — in order to save some token for national development and increase the rate of underdevelopment in the country.

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The T.A. Report

Nigerians on Twitter share their inspiring (and realistic) cash-saving experiences

A group of hard-working and smart Nigerians have taken to Twitter to share their 100 per cent true stories of saving money from their little earnings. Hoping others, especially members of the Youth Wing of the Union of Lazy Nigerians, will learn from their experiences, they also disclosed the mind-blowing things they have invested the savings in, including building houses and hospitals.

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From Our Allies

Femi Kuti and Timi Dakolo: Facing mutant truths under muted lights | Oluseyi Olufemi

Pastor Matthew, the tithe collector from England, came out to recklessly decree that this God-given honour in every girl child and grown woman should be defiled with ecclesiastical impunity by the pastor of KOSA in Abuja, because he was “called, committed, consecrated and covenanted by God” to rape and ruin the lives of Nigerian women.

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From Our Allies

How many dollars per barrel is Qasem Soleimani worth?

I see how the White House, from the Secretary of States to the Defense Secretary, is trying so hard, interview after interview, to justify the assault on Iraq’s sovereignty and the assassination of Soleimani. It’s pitiful how much of a terrible job they are doing. For the first time since Trump became POTUS, this is the most selfless decision he has made, causing such a surge in oil prices, leaving every member of OPEC pleased and richer than the night before, this is an angle the White House should explore in defending the president’s action.

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