Satire 0-1 News: Corruption-induced corona, UI’s blind auditor, and other stories
Facts are oftentimes stranger than fiction just as news is oftentimes more hilarious than satire. We live in a world (or country?) […]
People booing Buhari in Maiduguri ‘not even up to 100,000’, says Odesina
ABUJA (The T.A. Report) ― Nigerians are giving too much credit to the incident in Maiduguri where President Muhammadu Boohari was jeered at […]
Only Mr President deserves the glory
No one can win an election in Nigeria with questionable results except Mr President. He holds that record and he’ll never share that glory with anybody. Unarguably, the anointing flows from the top.
Eat the poor to save Nigeria: My political party manifesto | David Hundeyin
In this party, we believe that it is time to stop pussyfooting and do the needful with full awareness and zero guilt. We have been feasting on the poor for decades, pretending to regard them as humans in equal stature to us while sticking forks into them. Today LCC presents another way of doing things – a way that is transparent, fair and forward-looking.
I can’t forget the month Of FeBuhari
There is no way Nigerians should forget this month. Not because it’s been five years of repositioning Nigeria back to its rightful place in Africa, but because my eardrums and memory keep replaying the song, chorused by well-meaning, but blindfolded Nigerians five years ago. The chants of welcome to the month of FeBUHARI; a chant coined by Bubu supporters in a bid to sell the alleged converted democrat to Nigerians, and also to signify a new dawn for Nigeria, after — according to them — “the 16 years of destruction by the PDP.”
How to be a powerful Nigerian lawmaker
As a lawmaker in Nigeria, abusing your office and disgracing your constituency through negligent misstatements, embezzlement of funds meant for constituency projects, ignorance, inaction and non-participation in the proceedings of the house is a given.
Fellow Nigerians, shall we discuss ‘up NEPA’?
It’s like approaching climax or sniffing cocaine; we are addicted to it. Even if it means some Albino would sit in an air-conditioned room in the Queen’s land and say we are underdeveloped or underdeveloping, that’s their problem. At least it’s our country and we have pledged to be faithful, loyal, and (dis)honest to it.
The VP’s Dictionary: 50 naira, Dangote truck, and 21 other words
23. Zebra crossing: (n) A row of parallel white lines painted on major roads to beautify them and generally make a city look modern, and which have been found to confuse and endanger the lives of people with an ‘abroad mentality’ who think the lines serve some other purpose.
The boy who cried wolf …the untold true story
You all know this tale differently, and only a part of it; an abridged version told to comfort our fear of acknowledgement of the truth, and the error of our ways. But I’ll tell you today what happened in our village in Miltonshire, England. It was a year of dread and terror.
How to govern Nigeria | Ali Muhammad Garba
Start with a ‘populist’ programme and make plenty of noise to affirm your campaign promises and resonate with the electorate. A bit of noisy razzmatazz on Boko Haram, funding for agriculture, some high profile arrests on corruption charges and, more importantly, painting the opposition and critics black. Hammer on the point that you are not a thief.