Big Dream: All hail King Meffy?
In the 5th Month, of the 7th year, of the reign of Daddy Bubu, King over all of Nigeria, the whispers began to float that Meffy the indefatigable, self-acclaimed saviour of Nigeria’s Economy who went head-to-head with abokiFX in the battle for Nigeria’s economy, and who dealt abokiFX a knockout blow he is yet to recover from just months ago, had thrown his hat in the ring; alongside other pretenders, to be King over all of Nigeria.
Nigerian cows to get CIN
It was proposed by the lawmakers present that these cows be issued Cow identification Numbers (CINs) in similitude to the National Identification Number (NIN) already being issued to natural persons in the country.
Soro Sókè Werey! Reactions trail Parosident Sai Baba’s statement
“Sai Baba is quick to address the press and issue statements on events occurring thousands of miles away, but to address the one in his Iginmu, Sai Baba has turned ghost worker. Since he has time to be issuing statement for America, let him tell us who ordered the Lekki toll gate massacre!?? #SoroSoke Werey!”
“Democracy has been taken hostage in America,” says Sai Baba
In related news, the Nigerian ministry of Foreign Affairs in a travel advisory issued on its website has warned citizens of the country to reconsider traveling to the United States, particularly to the Washington DC area, due to post-election violence and the imminent fear of a break down in law and order.
Criminal responsibility in Nigeria: The Devil did it!
Rape, stealing, kidnapping, armed robbery, you name it… The common refrain amongst the perpetrators of these crimes in instances where they have been apprehended is thus, “the devil made me do it”, “it is the work of the devil…”
How to kill a business in Nigeria: Advisory opinion for the government
As a national government acting through your agencies and sector regulators, there’s nothing more delightful to you than watching your lazy citizens hustle hard to build their businesses, make your economy attractive to potential investors and then when their respective sectors start to boom, BOOM! you hit them with sucker-punches in the form of odious regulations and enforcement.
No money, no influence… Success in Nigeria? No way!
When a Court of Justice gives the order for the release of a big man in Nigeria, that order is immediately complied with by the prison officials who know that they are big and, as such, do not need to be protected. For these big men, a motorcade is usually on hand to sweep them out of their legislative cells to go and be continuing their bigness from where they stopped in the real world.
How to be a powerful Nigerian lawmaker
As a lawmaker in Nigeria, abusing your office and disgracing your constituency through negligent misstatements, embezzlement of funds meant for constituency projects, ignorance, inaction and non-participation in the proceedings of the house is a given.