Newly crowned Nigerian King, Bulaba Balablue, started his administration on a powerful note by declaring an end to fuel subsidy, a malaise that had hitherto kept Nigerians from unleashing their full potential and living their lives to the fullest.
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The late Nigerian Dictator; General Sani Abacha, had incredible foresight sha. Man knew Nigeria would definitely fall on hard times thus his incredible vision to salt a few millions here and there in the abroad for rainy days. But we called him criminal, we did not see the beauty in…
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In the 5th Month, of the 7th year, of the reign of Daddy Bubu, King over all of Nigeria, the whispers began to float that Meffy the indefatigable, self-acclaimed saviour of Nigeria’s Economy who went head-to-head with abokiFX in the battle for Nigeria’s economy, and who dealt abokiFX a knockout blow he is yet to recover from just months ago, had thrown his hat in the ring; alongside other pretenders, to be King over all of Nigeria.
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It was proposed by the lawmakers present that these cows be issued Cow identification Numbers (CINs) in similitude to the National Identification Number (NIN) already being issued to natural persons in the country.
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“Sai Baba is quick to address the press and issue statements on events occurring thousands of miles away, but to address the one in his Iginmu, Sai Baba has turned ghost worker. Since he has time to be issuing statement for America, let him tell us who ordered the Lekki toll gate massacre!?? #SoroSoke Werey!”
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In related news, the Nigerian ministry of Foreign Affairs in a travel advisory issued on its website has warned citizens of the country to reconsider traveling to the United States, particularly to the Washington DC area, due to post-election violence and the imminent fear of a break down in law and order.
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Rape, stealing, kidnapping, armed robbery, you name it… The common refrain amongst the perpetrators of these crimes in instances where they have been apprehended is thus, “the devil made me do it”, “it is the work of the devil…”
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As a national government acting through your agencies and sector regulators, there’s nothing more delightful to you than watching your lazy citizens hustle hard to build their businesses, make your economy attractive to potential investors and then when their respective sectors start to boom, BOOM! you hit them with sucker-punches in the form of odious regulations and enforcement.
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When a Court of Justice gives the order for the release of a big man in Nigeria, that order is immediately complied with by the prison officials who know that they are big and, as such, do not need to be protected. For these big men, a motorcade is usually on hand to sweep them out of their legislative cells to go and be continuing their bigness from where they stopped in the real world.
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