… where sa-tyres never go flat

The Rogue Lawyer

Nigerian cows to get CIN

Nigerian cows to get CIN

After an hours-long deliberation with taxpayers money, news broke on 25 April, 2021, of the contemplation of the Nigerian legislature to enact into law the creation of a database to take a census of and register all cows within the territorial borders of the country.

To achieve this, it was proposed by the lawmakers present that these cows be issued Cow identification Numbers (CINs) in similitude to the National Identification Number (NIN) already being issued to natural persons in the country.

The primary essence of this database is to enable the nation identify the best stock and breed of cows for fighting gidigbo. A proposed national bloodsport which will see a variety of cows lock horns in death matches.

The legislators affirm this would attract much needed foreign exchange into the country by boosting the revenue generated from tourism as the novelty of watching cows gore and maul each other to death in gidigbo is sure to attract international attention.

More so, cows who fall due to the inability to withstand the high-stake pressure of gidigbo, will be used as suya and kilishi for tourists to take back to their countries.

Another advantage of the proposed database is that it’ll become an avenue for youths to make money as breeders, trainers, referees and pundits.

The database will further allow youths who own betting accounts to trace the bloodline and family history of their proposed cows to see if they are a sure bet.

Cows captured in the database have been proposed to be classified according to the following metrics:

  • Junior intermediate gidigbo fighter
  • Senior intermediate gidigbo fighter
  • Superfly Bamtam weight gidigbo fighter and
  • Heavyweight gidigbo fighter

It has also been touted in some circles that the cows may be classified on whether or not they have facial scarifications.

Cows not registered within seven days of the coming into force of this law shall be forfeited to the Federal Government.

Despite this laudable initiative of the Nigerian Legislature, prior to us going to press, #AllCowsMatter and #CowLivesMatter movements were already springing up all over the country denouncing this great and inspired move.

2.5 2 votes
Article Rating

Share this post

I am the Iconoclast, the first rebel, the first revolutionary.

Wanna leave a reply?

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x