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The Rogue Lawyer

How to be a powerful Nigerian lawmaker

How to be a powerful Nigerian lawmaker

As a lawmaker in Nigeria, abusing your office and disgracing your constituency through negligent misstatements, embezzlement of funds meant for constituency projects, ignorance, inaction and non-participation in the proceedings of the house is a given.

It is expected that you be larger than life and have an over-bloated sense of ego in the discharge of your functions. Because you are powerful, your constituents grovel and beg at your feet for just a whiff of the national cake. You have so conditioned their responses that they are no longer able to think for themselves. God forbid that they concern themselves with your thoughts and contributions on non-important issues like homosexuality and abortion, you are their voice, and that is all they need to know to make Nigeria a great place for all to live in.

Now, we know you’re powerful. Even your colleagues on the floor of the legislative chambers refer to you as powerful. But it is not enough; the whole nation must know also that you’re powerful. In this wise, you must bring your 4 (four) wives and showcase them to the whole nation as evidence of your power and virility. For when a man is powerful, HE IS POWERFUL and not just for his contributions to politicking and lawmaking, but also for his prowess in the other room.

You must hammer into the collective consciousness of the nation that you’re powerful not only because you can handle 4 (four) wives, but also because you have sired 27 (twenty-seven) children on them “and counting”. Those children, offshoots of your powerful seed; not your politicking or your lawmaking, are the clear indications that you are a powerful man and that you’re not to be trifled with.

Thus, should any man born or cut out of a woman dare trifle with you, all you need do is point to the different manifestations of your power. Do they have 4 (four) wives? Have they sired 27 (twenty-seven) children? If they have not, then won o le to (they are not hard enough, they do not measure up to you). Show them this video and kee kee kee (laugh) at their pitiful ignorance.

Do this and as often as you please, and all will be well with you.


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I am the Iconoclast, the first rebel, the first revolutionary.

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