… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
You know who you must avoid? A woman who does not cook or clean every day, who outsources food and cleaning services regularly, who has a career, who is ambitious, or — God forbid — who hires nannies to watch her kids while chasing her dreams and living her life. The icing on the cake would be an unmarried woman, a divorcee, and a feminist who is also a baddie. LOL! This category of women are tagged “bitter, wicked, frustrated witches”.
The idea of sitting out a topic one has little knowledge of should never resonate with you. You see, social media conversations are unlike other types. You’re likely going to be chiming in your viewpoint amid tens of others who may or may not know quite a few things about the hot topic.
Post stuff like “I’m new here. Show me around” or “Twitter do your thing” to gain new followers. Share your handle on influencers’ posts. Join ‘follow trains’. Have a crazily-weird crafted bio on your profile. Buy followers if you must. The veracity of your opinions and the credibility of your personality are now measured by the number of followers you have on Twitter.
“What would a made-in-Nigeria SpaceX launch look like?” one researcher, Trojan (@ichtrojan) asked on Twitter, titling his study ‘Nigerian SpaceX – A thread of a million things that could go wrong’. And the responses, featuring the various characteristics of the typical Nigerian existence (from corruption to police brutality, party politics, and so on), could not have been more spot-on.
It all started with Tife (@tife_fabunmi) who said he still cannot believe the great man is no more and has not been able to close the tap of his tears. “Why do good people die young?” the young man asked, overwhelmed with grief and extreme love for his country.
A former presidential hopeful, Garba Adamu, has been added to the list of COVIDIOTS in the country. Mr Adamu has now joined […]
An alagba once admonished that “the masquerade that tries too hard to usurp his master by showing off his dance steps on the express shall be jammed by a Dangote trailer.” Our people say that “it is the desires of every father to have his son better him in life and accomplishments”. Without any iota of doubt, the governor wants his son to be better than he could ever be.
The Nigerian Ministry of Finance, being a pace-setter, has taken advantage of the Udemy free online course to earn a certificate in Content-Begging and Fund Solicitation. These are some of top in-demand skills in the world right now.
“We, in fact, urge all Nigerian politicians whom the universe has favoured in the ongoing matchmaking with coronavirus to locate the nearest transformers for their empathy,” he concluded, adding that they should remember not to touch anyone on their way to the deadly electrical devices.
The Parosident has refused to speak, unlike his counterparts in many other countries battling the virus because he hates Showoff and cheap politics. If not, what’s the big deal in setting up a press conference and having him read a prepared address to Nigerians? Even if the speech gets mixed up and does not really relate to the issue at hand. It’s not like Nigerians have choices. They can only shout and talk, nothing more.
