Hushdaddy Magu, don’t leave us, sir.
Amidst other questions their naive officers need answers to, the DSS also needs some advice on how he was able to transfer funds abroad via a third party. For only he can do these things, and there is no one like him. No. Don’t say the bush meat has caught the hunter. Say the bush meat volunteered to enter the hunter’s pot.
A new instalment of The Number Games film series premiers in Nigeria
Starting with the ongoing N-Power registration, reliable news outlets have it that over 3 million Nigerians have applied for the scheme within a week. In my considered view, this high number underscores the fact that this regime is doing enough to provide for its unemployed population. This number could have easily been in the range of a figure with two numbers preceding six “zeros” if not for the unprecedented efforts of the committed and fatherly president that we are highly privileged to have.
The cry of a baby police
Why did you decide to stop our only way of making personal money? This Covik 1-9 is brought by the gods to repay us of our good deeds. But you have chosen to punish us. You decided to lift the inter-state travel ban; for us the most profitable way of earning money ever.
LAW 101: Introduction to being an ideal law student
The first thing you should learn in the faculty are legal maxims. Maxims are usually in Latin. An example is ‘Nemo dat quod non habet’. In law, maxims can be likened to the proverbial palm oil with which words are eaten. You need not understand nor know the meaning of the maxims. Spice your words with them, especially when you are in the midst of non-law students. Make sure to keep them in the dark during conversations with them. This is to guarantee and increase their respects for you.
Another open letter
“This is power. The trust of the gazelles is in me. Leader go, leader come, I, Ajagbe am the leader’s leader, and I will enjoy this power till the end.” Ajagbe dug his already sticky chubby fingers into a bowl of dates as he relaxed in his chair which would soon need replacement if he kept filling his fat belly with dates.
Nigerians using jawmasks ask why ‘the damn thing’ isn’t working
ABUJA (The T.A. Report) ― Nigerians who have been adhering strictly to the use of jawmasks, among other safety measures to protect themselves from COVID-19, are starting to wonder why they…
‘I love my country I no go lie’
A country blessed and filled with milk and honey, a paradise for its citizens, a resort for those in need of luxury, and the greatest country in the world, with no sense of doubt. Well-meaning individuals from all walks of life, who are desirous of living a comfortable life, all seek to make my country their place of abode.
Barka da aiki, Madam First Lady!
Nigerians have taken to the media to make jest of the kind gesture of a First Lady who was magnanimous enough to empower the women of her state with a weighty ten bags of pure water each. Why are Nigerians behaving as if they are lacking in the manners and gratitude on social media? What have those ridiculing the first lady done for their village people? In fact, what good has any one in their lineage done for a fellow man?
Satire 404: Navigating the Twitterverse
Post stuff like “I’m new here. Show me around” or “Twitter do your thing” to gain new followers. Share your handle on influencers’ posts. Join ‘follow trains’. Have a crazily-weird crafted bio on your profile. Buy followers if you must. The veracity of your opinions and the credibility of your personality are now measured by the number of followers you have on Twitter.