… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
Facts are oftentimes stranger than fiction just as news is oftentimes more hilarious than satire. We live in a world (or country?) where journalists have, without intending it, become greater comedians than professional humorists. Don’t believe us? Keep reading.
The wars ended and Hafiz started a conquest. It would become the only bloodless conquest in the history of the human race. Within thirty years, Hafiz became the Supreme Charismatic Leader (an office created specially for him) controlling the United Nations. On Marlianry 5 2050, he changed the UN to No Battle Ground (NBG) and proceeded to create global peace through disarmament.
The year is 3100 and memes have been banned. The Interplanetary Alliance (replaced the United Alliance, which replaced the UN) now sits in Lagos, Nigeria. The IA is an alliance of Humans (CEOs of the top one percent tech companies), Robots, and life forms from other planets.
The person who convinced women that their freedom is in nakedness and body positivity lies in indecent exposure scored a screamer for patriarchy. Legend.
It’s the funniest thing ever when anyone says, Donald Trump is the dumbest US President in recent times. I can’t begin to imagine why anyone would think of something so untrue. One minute Nancy Pelosi and her squad at the Congress are trying to kick Mr Trump out of the White House, the next minute the United States is conducting airstrikes in Iraqi airspace killing one of Iran’s most senior army officials, Quassim Solammin.
ABUJA (The T.A. Report) ― The arrival of Nigeria’s long-expected child, Vision 2020, may in fact not take place this year, according to […]
With every year comes new resolutions where individuals declare actions, attitudes, behaviours which they intend to forgo and name the new principles, […]
“Abbo’s achievements give us hope that a man can still walk into any establishment, beat up people who challenge his God-given authority, and walk away with both his manhood and status intact. They give us hope that even the efficiency of security cameras and the outrage of all of the social media aren’t enough to bring down a daring man, no less a lawmaker with higher standards of behaviour. We are excited that such trifles as a man slapping a woman aren’t a genuine concern for the courts and legislature.”
I trust Nigerian youth. They understand that there is no way the kingdom of God will suffer violence and earth will be left out of the play. Who has the time to compose “take him out of the office” nonsense… when we have an endless number of songs composed by angry and faceless composers. Where is “We no go gree o, we no go gree!” or “Bubu, ole, Sarak ole!”?
I didn’t forget that this incorruptible major-general is for everybody and for nobody. This is why he could proudly identify with his children’s numerous foreign certificates, but not with their tuitions. This is natural; honest major-generals don’t like stains on their starched khakis. They won’t look kindly at you if you blow the kakaki when you see their long, lean hands in the hot pot of soup and the palm oil tell-tale on their bony lips. Abeg, don’t ask me where the money could have come from; manna still falls in the Katsina desert, you unbeliever!
