… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
This is a bill for an Act to institutionalise National Amnesia, Official Corruption, Political Theatrics, and Insecurity in Nigeria. The Bill, herein referred to as NAAM, sets to cater for the peculiar mess of politicians and public officials, and also to stimulate and enhance pervasive docility among the masses.
This year’s food production has been the best in our history and is second to no other country of the world. Our barns are not able to contain the fruits of our farmers’ labours. Like that rich man in Jesus’ parable, our minds are set on how to demolish the old barns and build bigger ones. In 2021, we don’t have to bother about farming, we will rather say to our souls: we have acquired this much by our efforts and those of our leaders, therefore our bodies should relax and make merry.
Maybe we can help you from the nothing we have sha. As the chairman of this community, I’ll ask everybody to contribute twenty naira for you — ha! It’s a big money to us o — so we can transport you to Abuja to start your profession properly.
Ever since your angelic visitation cum intervention to Nigeria’s political scene, it has been heaven on earth. Integrity, character, and honor mean the same thing all over the world except in Nigeria because you redefined it, in words and action. Not a single guile has been found in you because you’ve over-delivered on all your campaign promises.
Haba! This FG has really suffered in your hands o! If you’re not accusing them of Lekki shootings, then you’re accusing them of silence over Bornu rice farmers killings. Is it everything the Government will always be addressing? Must you always call them out on every occasion? Are they the only Government to be corrupt and at the same time disguise to be warring against corruption?
Recent events have shown that beyond being able to survive countless electrocutions caused by happenings in the country, there is more to the man at the helms of the Nigerian State.
Remember the news of a certain state government that distributed school sandals and uniforms worth twenty something million naira to pupils of primary schools? Maybe I’m late to hearing this but it doesn’t matter. I am fascinated by the pictures of those pupils. I see gratitude and excitement on the faces of these kids. It’s what their parents couldn’t offer.
Facts are oftentimes stranger than fiction just as news is oftentimes more hilarious than satire. We live in a world (or country?) where journalists have, without intending it, become greater comedians than professional humorists. Don’t believe us? Keep reading.
Recently, die-hard Buarists have been alarmed by his uncharacteristic silence in respect of the issue of corruption. His disturbing silence has made many to wonder if the man they voted into power with their under-aged children, deceased relatives and cows, not minding the fact that queries were raised over his academic qualification, is still committed to rooting out corruption from the Nigerian DNA.
By: Kolade Olawale Kabir Àdèlé The preacher girl is a marketer, selling Words of the scripture on a dusty Nigerian road while […]
