How to kill a language: The death of Yoruba
A language is a system of communication which consists of a set of sounds and written symbols which are used by the […]
When courts become degree-awarding institutions…
By: Isaac “O’Zik” Omole Last week, I met a friend of mine; he is a Mechanic, a skilled one at that. 29 […]
Criminal prosecution 101: How to battle corruption; Nigerian Style!
Are you a concerned Nigerian Citizen? Do you want to prosecute high profile criminal cases and battle the endemic disease; Corruption, that […]
The Nigerian government’s guide to road maintenance
There are some silly countries, such as Canada, that have created online forms and helplines just for people to complain about potholes. Every year, the city of Toronto alone spends millions of dollars repairing hundreds of thousands of potholes and then—wait for it—also gives progress reports to the people about how many potholes they’ve massacred. Who does that? Aren’t they aware that potholes are citizens with fundamental human rights? Don’t they know they are a necessary evil that deserve to be treated with love, care, and respect?
How to become the most peaceful university in Nigeria
When your students get into arguments with students from other institutions, while those students proudly make submissions over little accolades like having the best medical school or being among the top 50 universities in the world, tell yours to not feel inferior. They have the best quality any institution can offer. Peace.
Nigeria Air, Africa’s largest airline, to suspend activities to South Africa
I am pleased to announce to you that as part of efforts to bring the diplomatic relations between the GIANT OF AFRICA and the xenophobic South Africa to a very low ebb, the federal government of Nigeria under the leadership of Muhammadu Buhari has vowed that the activities of Nigeria Air, Africa’s best and largest air transport company, to South Africa will be suspended totally.
This is what being Nigerian means
Nigerians tired of the ill-treatment from one, who is supposedly their mother but doesn’t act like it, elope. They abscond hoping to get haven from other mothers. They try Mrs United States, Mrs South Africa, Mrs Lybia etc. with the mindset that since their own mother was so kind to foreigners, they too would be welcomed in open arms. How wrong they were.
Becoming a Nigerian politician: The ‘Wadume’ Model
Brandish your new identity as a politician. It explains the source of your wealth. It qualifies you for chieftaincy titles and juicy political appointments. Should those untrustworthy policemen betray you and kidnap you, your boyz and big boyz will alert your friends in the army who will annihilate the Police Kidnap Squad.
Shortlist: 2019 Punocracy Prize for Satire
The jury is still out on the question of who the top three entrants are. But having published all longlisted entries for the prize, we’re glad to finally announce those submissions that made the shortlist.
The apostle’s letter to Nigerians in SA
We never saw this coming. You know this has never happened until days ago. No Nigerian has ever been beaten, molested or robbed in SA — this is the first time. That’s why we are slow at reacting. All those former news we heard of the inhumane acts towards you in SA is mere talk. It wasn’t real, that’s why it’s taken us so long.