Hate Speech: I am the Law, and the Law shall not be mocked!
It is the year 2022… The social media bill has been passed into law, Twitter has become a ghost town… Only users […]
Vision 2020: Death by Taxation!
2020 is around the corner and guess what? The Nigerian government is going to tax us all to death. The taxman is […]
Dear Aunty Aisha, please stand still. Stop confusing the thunder.
I logged on Twitter to see your name trending. I was excited that our matron was back at giving the cabal their usual dose of gbas and gbos, only for me to get the shocker of my life. I don’t know what surprised me the most, that you were making references to China or that you were encouraging those small boys in the Senate to take away our social media that has saved your marriage more times than a therapist.
Divided we stand, divided we fall
You think these people are not working hard? I laugh. If they worked hard to give you a good economy, good-paying jobs, and a minimum wage of N100,000, how then will you be able to sell your vote for N2,000? This is why they work hard to keep you poor, so that poverty will, in turn, have you work for them too. You think you’re the only one who read The Richest Man In Babylon?
Satire 0-1 News: Missing INEC staff, Sowore may be knocked down if released, and other stories
Facts are oftentimes stranger than fiction just as news is oftentimes more hilarious than satire. We live in a world (or country?) […]
Bubu congratulates Hayaya Bail-Low on reelection, urges him to owe 48 months salaries
“Mr Governor, I urge you to develop their sufferings and glorify their poverty. That is one cornerstone of our party’s policies – domesticating poverty massively and celebrating corrupt officials, willful abuse of court orders and rape of the nation’s constitution. 38 months of unpaid salaries are just the tip of the iceberg. Owe them 48 months.”
UI rusticates Character, unveils plan to build Institute for ‘Budget Padding’ Studies
When asked if he thinks he could lead the institution, he interjected: Why not? “My mischievous credentials, professional qualifications in deflating gra-gra and over 30 years impertinence to due process in the academia give me an unequaled edge among my contemporaries in the corrupt world to lead the NUC,” Olayyinka said.
Once upon a (great) country
In another state, the governor reiterated that the king’s welfare is paramount to the workers’ survival because who are the workers without the king. So he went on to buy a Rolls Royce with a few billions of Naira for the king of one village without paying the workers’ salary. Of course, the workers did not move a finger in protest since they understood the importance of a new car purchase for the king, whose old cars were unbefitting of his status in the league of powerful kings.
The Yahaya’s prayer
Our father, who art in Aso, hallowed be thy name.
The period come, thy will be done in Kogi as it is in Aso.
The seven commandments of surviving in Nigerian politics
Politics in Nigeria is so fickle and vacillating. No one can be so sure of what comes next. One minute, the masses are singing your praises and the next moment you are struggling to get them to vote for you. This might be because of a single action or inaction which you consider insignificant but turns out to be significant enough to pull you down. So always have a backup plan.