By: Chuks .Chinyere(jj)


​Nigerians are very hardworking people, with little or no result to show for all the efforts we put in. This is not a result of the black hole of a system we have found ourselves in, that swallows your efforts without results. It is rather because of forefathers who had dedicated their destinies and those of their fore-children to all kinds of orishas and deities.

As a result, we need to pay for prayers, we need to pay our tithes and offerings regularly to our Daddy GOs so that these curses will be broken and so that we can progress. The present situation has nothing to do with bad governance at all.

There’s so much traffic in Lagos, it’s a gridlock on some days — but not as a result of the bad roads we have in the state o! nah nah! it’s just that Lagos is a land of opportunities and, as a Mega City, there’s an astronomical increase in population …thus the traffic jam. The problem is not a terrible transport system unable to cater for this “astronomical population growth”. Looking on the bright side, car owners now envy trekkers and Okada riders. The table is turning, and new businesses like Opay are now selling more and thriving — talk about ease of doing business.

Nigerians are suffocating. Poverty and hardship have them on a chokehold. With their feet on our neck, our oppressors are those we now worship.

Oops! That came out wrong. The truth is, Nigerians are enjoying and chopping life. After all, inner peace lo she koko. Contentment is the most important thing abeg. It is better to at least see one square meal and be happy. Besides, “Some have food but KANO eat.” We should be happy that the rich also cry. No matter how bad it is for you, e get people wey you better pass.

So when you get to Church on Sunday, give an extra offering to the continuously fattened pocket of your religious patriarch for the God-given ability to suffer and smile. At least long-suffering is one of the nine gifts.

“MY PEOPLE DEY FEAR TOO MUUUUUUCHHHH!!! We fear the things we no seeee, we no wan die, we no wan kpai, we wan build house, we wan knack nyash, we wan chop life, we wan killi dem kpa, we wan drive benz”but year don dey end, guy, and a Governor who owed workers salaries for 30 months out of his 48 months period as Governor was re-elected into office on the grounds of Youth Empowerment. Our young Governor is so in touch with his youth that he took it upon himself to tackle youthful unemployment in Kogi State by empowering Kogi youths with clubs and machetes, sticks and stones and, not forgetting, an impetus to wreak havoc. Don’t you just love youth empowerment?

This kind gesture was so touching that Natasha Akpoti, governorship candidate of the Social Democratic Party (SDP), could not hold back tears whenever she narrated what she passed through in the hands of these unemployed-empowered employees of Governor Yahaya Bello. Natasha would have made a terrific Governor, but the people of Kogi said, “No, she didn’t know how to smile well enough like the amiable Governor Yahaya Bello.”

Some people think the All Progressives Congress government is not a very smart one. Some think they are dull and unintelligent. But if you can see with both eyes and you let a blind man lead you, what does that say about you, your eyes, and your faith in your eyes?

You think these people are not working hard? I laugh. If they worked hard to give you a good economy, good-paying jobs, and a minimum wage of N100,000, how then will you be able to sell your vote for N2,000? This is why they work hard to keep you poor, so that poverty will, in turn, have you work for them too. You think you’re the only one who read The Richest Man In Babylon?

If we had good roads in Lagos, less traffic jam, and less time spent on the road in general, how will advertisers who pay huge sums to advert regulatory authorities cash out on these massive investments? Okay, maybe I’m over-reaching.

Maybe they all mean well. Maybe this Social Media Bill thing is indeed not in a bid to bridle out sharp tongues and Twitter fingers. Maybe it’s a progressive ploy to open doors to a new economic opportunity to tech guys who will help us build VPN apps to help change our locations like Yahoo boys, just so that we can flex our Twitter finger muscles and speak our minds.

It used to be United We Stand… look around you, it is united they stand against us, and “they” here is every member of the upper class in a position of power. They stay powerful by dividing us into smaller groups, keeping us standing divided against ourselves. There was a country, where we stood united so that we didn’t fall. Now, we stand united in divided groups to fall divided in unison … standing too far from each other, so that we don’t find our collective voice to say, ‘ENOUGH!’