Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

With all the condolence letters, none was sent to Mr Democracy’s family

With all the condolence letters, none was sent to Mr Democracy’s family

By: Olamide Francis.


There’s no way a human being with flesh and blood, with ‘human feelings’ would not pay a condolence visit to the relatives of Democracy. It’s painful.

Last Saturday, as usual, three condolences letters rolled out of the Nigerian presidency, but none was sent to the family of Mr Democracy. Abi, they don’t know he finally breathed his last on Friday morning? Maybe they prefer to visit his family in person. No, Vice President Osinbajo isn’t so inhumane. He’s a regular condolence visitor and a vibrant leader of the condolence delegate. This death of Mr Democracy should definitely be on his list of preference for this week.

Democracy was a good man.

He loved everyone, listens to all and sundry. I have never seen him exhibit an act of belligerency. He treats everyone equally and is a respecter of nobody. You need to see how awesome he was. From fulfilling all he promised, giving the power of choice to the people to letting everyone’s voice be heard… Oh, he was such a nice man!

Unfortunately, after a long ailment, he passed away on Friday.

All these months, he has been bedridden at the Federal Medical Center, Aso Villa. As a point of fact, he was been attended to by Dr Buhari. Prior to this time, every compos mentis Nigerian has argued if it’s okay to let Dr Buhari keep attending to his health. Hailers presented him as a veteran in nurturing Democracy. I was bewildered.

“But, he killed Mr Democracy’s father in 1983 nah? How can he now care for the son?”

You can’t give what you don’t have keh. If you ask me, I’ll say his doctoral certificate is an affidavit. No relative of Democracy has ever blossomed in his hands. There was nothing I didn’t say in 2015 about the danger Mr democracy will be in if we let Dr Buhari attend to him.

In 2019, Mr Democracy’s condition further deteriorated, but those who know what’s best for Nigeria still voted for Dr Buhari to carry on with his work. According to them, he was the best consultant for the job, an Angel from above. A lot has been spent on Mr Democracy. He even celebrated his 20th year of uninterrupted service to the Federal Republic this year. Little did I know he’d die this same year.

Alas, he passed away on Friday in the most horrible way, right in front of those who could have saved his life, the Democracy Safekeeping Service (DSS).

When we retrieved the autopsy of Democracy, we found out he was poisoned to death by tyranny. Ah! Tyranny! Tyranny that killed Democracy’s uncle, sisters and in-laws in Cameron, Zimbabwe, Togo, Uganda and the likes. We have to ask Dr Buhari — the epitome of no-nonsense that he is — how the poison was smuggled into Democracy’s room at the hospital. There’s no way we will not investigate Dr Buhari, he must know one or many things about this issue.

His faction in the hospital has been supporting him ever since. They said Democracy isn’t dead, that he only faked his death. Some said, Dr Buhari knows nothing about his death. Unfortunately, Dr Buhari and his cohorts have been playing deaf and dumb since Friday that Democracy died.

Who will bell the cat? Democracy was a good man. We cannot let his death go in vain. Should we organise a national day of fasting and prayer for his resurrection? Please advise us.


Olamide is passionate about social change, public management & administration, media and communications. He manifests on all social media platforms as Olamide Francis.

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