Prayer points will now count as votes, INEC tells voters who won’t come out to vote
ABUJA — In case you have the plan to stay at home in the coming elections without voting, then you just got […]
Nigeria’s potholes experience calculated massacre as election season approaches
Though the rising level of infrastructural development or seeming development is a national phenomenon, The T.A. Report gathers that Lagos State is an exception. It is reported that capital-intensive projects in the Centre of Excellence currently suffer unusual neglect as the governor, Akinwunmi Ambode, has abandoned office for a more pragmatic role of “APC campaign rally strategist and bench-warmer”.
Giant Abuja broom wins Guinness World Record for ‘stupidest campaign object’
“We would normally expect that it takes decades before this record is broken in another political campaign. But, with the level of passionate competitiveness observable in Nigeria’s politics, we suppose anything really is possible. Giant squirrels, chickens, trees, and so on, we never can tell.”
Why campaign rallies are the best thing after Agege bread
There is nothing the pot-bellied politician would not do to convince the commoner that he is part of the everyday realities. He would sing all kinds of songs, speak all kinds of tongues, pray in the name of all kinds of gods, and dance, in a most awkward manner, all kinds of moves — especially the latest in town. All this time, we the people, the spectators on these days and all others, get freely entertained.
‘How would students come for our rallies if we called off ASUU strike?’ Buhari asks
“So we urge members of ASUU to be patient with us; and also our l-l-aa- …., sorry, hardworking youth. If we still have enough money left in the treasury after the campaigns, we will definitely give priority to the schools.”
How Fayemi outbid Fayose at Ekiti stock exchange │Tunde Odesola
This brilliant piece of satire first appeared in The Punch Newspaper, on 16 July 2018. Scene I It’s the zero hour. Nobody […]
A conversation with my mechanic who wants to be president │Reuben Abati
This is an extract from a longer piece published by The Cable and titled, “2019: Nigeria’s Emerging Political Leaders“. Reuben Abati is a […]
I am actually running for CAN President, campaign committee made mistake ― says Durotoye
LAGOS (The T.A. Report) — Fela Durotoye has apologised to Nigerians for his misleading campaign, which has so far portrayed him as […]
“If Buhari wins the 2019 election …”│Soogun Omoniyi
We found this lovely satirical prophesy by an amazing knitter of words, Soogun Omoniyi, and knew right away you would love it […]
ELEHA LEAH AND THE POLITICS OF DECEPTION
Omo eni ku, o san ju omo eni nu lo – a dead child is better than a missing child, is an […]