LAGOS (The T.A. Report) — Fela Durotoye has apologised to Nigerians for his misleading campaign, which has so far portrayed him as a 2019 presidential aspirant.
He disclosed in a statement, released on Monday through his website and Facebook page, that he is in truth running for the presidency of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), currently headed by Revd. Supo Ayokunle.
He also blamed his “overzealous” campaign committee for the “unfortunate misrepresentation of facts”, and promised to be more straightforward in his campaign slogans and statements.
“Fellow Nigerians, it has come to my notice that many of you wrongly believe I am standing for presidency come 2019. This is far from reality. I have no such aspirations, whether for next year or the next five years,” the statement read.
“My campaign committee, filled with ambitious and sometimes overzealous young men and women, must have desired otherwise. And I am truly sorry for this misrepresentation of facts. My intention, from the start, has really been to succeed Revd. Ayokunle as the president of the Christian Association of Nigeria.
“I have observed with melancholy the way and manner in which the body has been administered over the years, and my father eventually revealed to me in 2016 that it is time to do something about it. God told me in unequivocal terms that it is time I lived up to my name – duro ti oye (stand up to title). I am simply respecting the wishes of the almighty.
“So, fellow Nigerians, it is time we come to the ken that CAN needs our help, and we can! In this light, my new campaign slogan is “we can for CAN!” We must not retire until we cast Holy Ghost fire and make all the liars and enemies of progress perspire.
“And, of course, we should never forget that your attitude and state of gratitude will in the end determine your altitude and latitude; because you will never deserve some accolades until all your dues have been fully paid.”
Durotoye has been in the hot seat for constantly playing a God card in his speeches and campaign statements. Among other things, he had said he will “carry God on my head” and that it is time Nigerians “bring God back into politics”.
Caveat: Note that this piece is a fictional satire aimed purely at humour. The words above are nothing but products of a drunk writer’s imagination. We hereby refuse to accept responsibility for the results of anyone’s credulity or mischief. Do not take us serious. We repeat; do not take us serious! … But, on second thought, maybe you should do just that.
It is fake, yes, but it isn’t news. It is satire borrowing from the news writing style. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
It’s just dumb
That’s not a surprise, considering that the author was admittedly drunk while writing. 🙂