Shortlist: 2019 Punocracy Prize for Satire
The jury is still out on the question of who the top three entrants are. But having published all longlisted entries for the prize, we’re glad to finally announce those submissions that made the shortlist.
… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
The jury is still out on the question of who the top three entrants are. But having published all longlisted entries for the prize, we’re glad to finally announce those submissions that made the shortlist.
Like you, we can’t wait to find out who the top three writers are. Meanwhile, in no particular order, here are the applicants who made it to the 24 percentile.
In a press statement sent to this paper and signed by the team lead, the Punocracy crew said their records show that 171 applications were made for the prize. “But this includes entries that were sent multiple times,” the statement added for clarity.
“We would normally expect that it takes decades before this record is broken in another political campaign. But, with the level of passionate competitiveness observable in Nigeria’s politics, we suppose anything really is possible. Giant squirrels, chickens, trees, and so on, we never can tell.”
There is nothing the pot-bellied politician would not do to convince the commoner that he is part of the everyday realities. He would sing all kinds of songs, speak all kinds of tongues, pray in the name of all kinds of gods, and dance, in a most awkward manner, all kinds of moves — especially the latest in town. All this time, we the people, the spectators on these days and all others, get freely entertained.
The senior official, who pleaded for his identity not to be disclosed for fear of “being fed to the EFCC like Babachir for political gains”, said the official explanation that they came to understudy President Muhammadu Buhari’s style was mere damage control.
“So we urge members of ASUU to be patient with us; and also our l-l-aa- …., sorry, hardworking youth. If we still have enough money left in the treasury after the campaigns, we will definitely give priority to the schools.”
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