Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

Becoming a campus journalist in Nigeria: A satirical guide

Like the strong-willed patriotic Nigerian that you are, you do not want to lose out on all. You look for ways to impact on campus and thicken your skillset and your professional experience. You have got to thicken your CV for recruiters and employers who require a five-year experience for the job you hope to apply for as a fresh graduate. Trust me, I come with the perfect panacea: be a campus journalist and shoot into limelight.

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Lamentations of an Egbere

The road’s prayer: A Nigerian road’s supplicative commentary on the Paternoster

Every year, billions of money that the can break the jaw of a counter are allocated for my manicure and pedicure in the budget. Those monies are always too blind to locate me. The only place they know is the coffers of the same old corrupt politicians. The little that manages to locate me is usually shared with contractors who are always keen on having the lion’s share. Hence, my dreadful state!

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Lamentations of an Egbere

From pit to palace: The rise and rise of Nigerian prisons

In Nigeria, an upgrade, no matter how insignificant it appears, calls for a rechristening. When you roam about Facebook, for instance, you may come across a Kande Kurushepe going by the new name of Yummy-Kandy Krueger-Sheks. Why? She has now acquired a cheap made-in-China Brontel Android phone and has caught up with the teeming webizens of the 21st century on the World Wide Web.

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The T.A. Report

Fuel scarcity, power cut: Things that could go wrong with a SpaceX launch in Nigeria

“What would a made-in-Nigeria SpaceX launch look like?” one researcher, Trojan (@ichtrojan) asked on Twitter, titling his study ‘Nigerian SpaceX – A thread of a million things that could go wrong’. And the responses, featuring the various characteristics of the typical Nigerian existence (from corruption to police brutality, party politics, and so on), could not have been more spot-on.

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From Our Allies

Happy 21st birthday, Democracy

Speaking of institutional nonsense, you remember how one of the first things you established was a reformed Nigeria? Ha! Good old days. A Nigeria with a doomed legislative building, sorry domed building called the National Assembly where family reunion is held every now and then between former khaki boys, holders of umbrellas, holders of circled stars (which today is a luxurious broom), and other distant cousins.

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