Hypocrisy’s new book about Nigeria becomes a best-seller
“I have traveled around the world before settling in Nigeria because the people here are very pleasant. When I came, I had no influence, no wealth and no children, but now, I have many wives across the country. The book is about my time in Nigeria, and it is a very special tribute.”
5 reasons present-day Nigerian youth are the best
Whether it is to snatch ballot boxes or spell coconut, we don’t refuse to answer when the elders call, especially when they shake our hands with a handful of freshly minted 1000 naira notes. We are not doing it for the money o. We are simply snatching ballot boxes and protesting because it is unfair to cheat such a kind and pleasant politician.
The 10% of zero naira
PASTOR AJAYI: Calm down, let me talk. Since the beginning of lockdown, these people have refused to send their tithe. The church has not been receiving the alert of their 10%. Even when the church, in its magnanimity, sent bulk SMS to them to remind them, they refused to wire the money. The message even contained the church’s account details o. Still, they refused to send it. Parrot, I am angry.
Another open letter
“This is power. The trust of the gazelles is in me. Leader go, leader come, I, Ajagbe am the leader’s leader, and I will enjoy this power till the end.” Ajagbe dug his already sticky chubby fingers into a bowl of dates as he relaxed in his chair which would soon need replacement if he kept filling his fat belly with dates.
“A very good morning to the esteemed and important citizens of Zootopia. The next story from the entertainment world had me choking on my coffee this morning. Word from the streets of the zoo has it that a very popular puppy from Zootopia’s commercial capital just got a new million-dollar mansion. This puppy is known for his Gucci puppy collars and chains. His extravagant lifestyle, and expensive outfits have made him the role model of many other animals even though his source of income remains unknown.”
“Where are these fucking men in ghost-white lab coats?” the king’s TV presenter voice boomed, disturbing the specialists working hard to find the cure to a novel virus. The king wasn’t smart, but he was the king anyway, so they left their work, and formed a semi-circle in front of him. “Took you long enough,” he said in that voice that hurt the ear.