How to die well in Nigeria
To die well in Nigeria, you need to have lived an infamous life. And, to achieve this, first be a politician or hold a public office. Do not be a public or civil servant as the office may imply but endeavour to rule rather than serve. For rulership is for the strong, while service is for the weak and gullible. Make sure abuse sets in, trample on the poor, and lie to them.
Covid-19: Nigerians hoard empathy, urge infected politicians to locate ‘nearest transformers’
“We, in fact, urge all Nigerian politicians whom the universe has favoured in the ongoing matchmaking with coronavirus to locate the nearest transformers for their empathy,” he concluded, adding that they should remember not to touch anyone on their way to the deadly electrical devices.
How to govern Nigeria | Ali Muhammad Garba
Start with a ‘populist’ programme and make plenty of noise to affirm your campaign promises and resonate with the electorate. A bit of noisy razzmatazz on Boko Haram, funding for agriculture, some high profile arrests on corruption charges and, more importantly, painting the opposition and critics black. Hammer on the point that you are not a thief.
Of Naija, empty barrels, and noise-making
Ever since the inception of Nigeria, her leaders have always been full of promises upon promises, without action. We should just rename the country the Land of Promise or the Federal Republic of Dreams.
Is your country a glorified colony? A ten-point test | Chuma Nwokolo
You cannot tell whether you live in a colony simply by looking at your constitution. Constitutions have lots of dead letters: rights that are there in writing but dead-on-delivery. To help you decide the colonial status of your country, we put together this rough-and-ready ten-point test.
Delayed childbirth: Nigeria’s celebrity baby, Vision 2020, ‘not fully formed yet’
ABUJA (The T.A. Report) ― The arrival of Nigeria’s long-expected child, Vision 2020, may in fact not take place this year, according to experts. This they say is because, despite fervent…
The ugly National Assembly and beautiful Nigerian roads
No doubt, it is only when lawmakers discuss in a building with the most up-to-date interior design and perfectly working air conditioners that their brains can be in a condition to function well, to think critically, and arrive at more creative methods to carry out their legislative functions. This, of course, most importantly includes budget padding — because it is a naked truth that budget padding is an essential ingredient of economic growth and development.
Of bent knees and straight polls
This is a reality that goes beyond politics but extends to education, health, entertainment and every other sector. In saner climes, however, an applaudable development is when a previously sophisticated process is made easy, but you must understand that when God cursed Adam that he would sweat before putting food on the table, he allotted that to his Nigerian descendants and gave his other favourable qualities to the abroad.
It’s hard to impress a Nigerian, except your name is Seyi Makinde
That’s not all? You guys should wait, I’m hearing something about the Oyo State 2020 budget. HE DID WHAT? Allotted 22.3 per cent of the state budget to education alone? That’s hitting the UNESCO benchmark nah; it’s unbelievable. What is this man trying to do na? Is it that he doesn’t want a second term or what? If you end up educating the entire Oyo State in your first four years, how then do you intend to win re-election in 2023?