Who are you voting for? I don’t have a PVC. Who are you rooting for? Why would I be rooting for my next oppressor? So would you rather have no one as president? That’s not possible. Osinbajo said “you can’t wish this country well and vote for someone you do…
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Whether it is to snatch ballot boxes or spell coconut, we don’t refuse to answer when the elders call, especially when they shake our hands with a handful of freshly minted 1000 naira notes. We are not doing it for the money o. We are simply snatching ballot boxes and protesting because it is unfair to cheat such a kind and pleasant politician.
1 CommentIn the aftermath of the small matter of Naira Marley’s flight from Lagos to Abuja and back, from the depth of oblivion you appeared on our airwaves to attack a gentleman who doubles as a president and a role model to many progressive and patriotic Nigerians. That was not just it. You went on to make the absurd insinuation that there may be elements of the Marlian World Oder (MWO) movement in the esteemed Buhari government.
2 CommentsLike the strong-willed patriotic Nigerian that you are, you do not want to lose out on all. You look for ways to impact on campus and thicken your skillset and your professional experience. You have got to thicken your CV for recruiters and employers who require a five-year experience for the job you hope to apply for as a fresh graduate. Trust me, I come with the perfect panacea: be a campus journalist and shoot into limelight.
9 CommentsSpeaking of institutional nonsense, you remember how one of the first things you established was a reformed Nigeria? Ha! Good old days. A Nigeria with a doomed legislative building, sorry domed building called the National Assembly where family reunion is held every now and then between former khaki boys, holders of umbrellas, holders of circled stars (which today is a luxurious broom), and other distant cousins.
1 CommentIf you intend to have one child, I am sorry to announce that you are falling short of the Nigerian dream. Or tell me, who are you planning to emulate in your family? Now, change that orientation, you must have at least three children: Doctor, Engineer and Lawyer. The advantages of having more than three far outweigh having less. SARS might kill one or two for dressing too fine in Lagos, remember? Kidnappers might abduct and kill one or two if they are in the north. And there’s the killer herdsmen, Boko Haram terrorists, and so on.
2 CommentsEven if they see a ray of hope or interest in something as Haram as Makarantan Boko, a thunder of “infidel” and soothing lashes of loving whips will never touch their backs. What do you need western education for? Without it, the commissioner rose to the top. He loitered the street, begged for money from passersby, almost got ran over by cars daily, ate crumbs from the plate of strangers and, when it was time, he was handpicked from the street and was sworn in as a commissioner the next day. You don’t have to strive; striving is rebellion.
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