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Debate between an OBIdient and a BATist

Debate between an OBIdient and a BATist

Who are you voting for?

I don’t have a PVC.

Who are you rooting for?

Why would I be rooting for my next oppressor?

So would you rather have no one as president?

That’s not possible. Osinbajo said “you can’t wish this country well and vote for someone you do not believe in.” 

So who would you say you believe in?

Osinbajo. Some of us really don’t care about any exactly. But the Yoruba man in me would go for BAT.

Isn’t that tribalistic?

Aunty Bimbo Adelakun once wrote: “why should I feel bad about my tribalism when that’s exactly what everyone else is also doing?”

So if you can’t beat them you join them? Is this true for every other thing for what most people do?

The cure for bigotry is bigotry. You don’t stay in your land, get attacked by intruders, and then preach peace. You pay back in the coin you’re paid. And again, there’s absolutely no evidence that the Obi presidency will be better than the BAT presidency. So why not?

Aren’t you bothered about the question marks on BAT?

Absolutely. Every reasonable person should be. His health. No well-meaning Nigerian should want a Yar’Adua repeat. His identity shrouded his mystery. His propensity for corruption and authoritarianism. Yes, it’s okay to have issues with those.

Is it OK to have those issues?

It’s okay to criticize those issues. That’s what I said. My man, Osinbaby, doesn’t have those issues. You see why I’m supporting no one now?

And yet you would rather choose such a man for than those without baggage on the ballot?

Who are those? Atiku has exactly the same issues. Or at least, most of them. He’s 78.

Sowore. Obi. Dumebi. Etc.

Oh. I was initially rooting for Osinbajo (APC) and Obi (PDP) actually. I could have voted for Obi. I just wanted (and still do) a Southern president. But the electioneering alone has made me see the ethnic dimension to politics in this country.

So where is the saying that ‘be the change you want’?

Abegiiiii. You can’t be any change you want if you’re a fry surrounded by sharks?


Life historically was survival of the fittest. You sure know that Yorubas complained of marginalization during GEJ?

But what did OBJ’s eight year presidency do for the south west? Why hasn’t Katsina become a bastion of peace under Buhari? Aren’t those pointers that a BAT presidency won’t bring any significant difference to the south west? 

Nothing. But it doesn’t matter. SW alone can lay claim to 9 years and 3/4 months of Nigerian political history. And that’s something. What did Obama 8 years do for African Americans? But they wanted it anyway.

Bragging rights and that’s all?

And I don’t even believe this. The Buhari presidency has benefitted a Katsina a lot. I mean; look at Daura. Do you know how much development flowed into Daura simply because of Buhari’s influence?

How so? Tell me. What of the insecurity there?

What of the insecurity in the southeast, even though Buhari isn’t a South Easterner? The only place in the world where there are no problems is paradise.

So that goes to show your sentiment towards your kinsmen guarantees nothing order than bragging rights.


Despite the perception of northern domination, it’s still the privileged northern elites that benefit primarily. You can’t say the same of the majority. The millions of impoverished and malnourished masses suffer. You appear to be among the said elites though.

This isn’t true. Why and how did ordinary Northerners come to dominate the army, if not for the influence of their elites? Privileges can trickle down. It depends on the people. Read Max Siollun. It’s not true.

You know I’ve read all his books. In the end, wasn’t it the so-called army domination that produced Buhari, IBB, Abacha and the mythical Lantang Mafia?

Exactly. Privileges trickle down. Have you been to Kano? Kano is developed mostly by laundered money. I caught that whiff immediately I stepped into that city. Nigeria isn’t an integrated country. We need representation to keep us together.

Laundered money? And Lagos isn’t?

I love that. You can say the same thing about major Nigerian cities. Kano, Lagos, and Abuja. What’s just peculiar is that Kano is in the heart of Hausaland. So, you expect most of the assets built from laundered money in the city are owned by Hausas. It’s a city of Northerners by Northerners. Isn’t it? Things trickle down. Representation matters. And Nigeria is divided along ethnic lines.

How many Kano politicians have led the country? Compare that to Katsina. 

Ehn? Jigawa State governor spends his weekends in Kano. Kano is the Lagos of the North.


If you dig well. Your worldview would be shaken. The North has a lot of structural advantages in this Nigerian project.

Even more than the south? How has that not translated into economic prosperity and revenue splurge?

Yes. Land. Population. I didn’t support RUGA then, when I was closest to being an open bigot. But now as a closet one, with more knowledge, I still don’t. The South doesn’t have land. I was surprised to know today that the whole of the SE is roughly the same as Oyo State! Bro, if they want to make RUGA, they should go to Niger, Bauchi, Katsina, etc. Nowhere is the taking of ancestral land from the people it rightly belongs to allowed. Nowhere! Even America is atoning for its sins now!

Okay then. Is Buhari a failure?

Failure is objective.

To you.

He isn’t.

Okay. So Nigeria is better than before.

So the world is better than before?

Would you rather live in the world before than today’s world?

Only a fool hangs unto the past.

And the wise don’t desire a better today?

I’ve criticized Buhari a lot on two things: Insecurity and the handling of the economy. But if you dig well, neither of these problems actually started with him. And the economic problems, in some ways, aren’t his fault, at least, as best as I know. The world is in an economic crisis rn. Even in the UK, they’re shouting. Inflation dey choke them. And GEJ was an idiot. Our luckiest president in terms of oil. He squandered it.

So you think it is better to pander to ethnic sentiments to get a president that will excel where Buhari failed? Can’t you spot the irony?

What’s the irony? Even in the US, they pander to ethnic sentiments. All over the world. Even in the US, they pander to ethnic sentiments. All over the world.

That it is all over the world does that make it right? Some ultranationalists kill in the name of ethnic superiority all over the world. Does that make it right?

I’m not in support of that. But humans are primordial beings. You can’t take that away from us. Prof. Yuval Harari discussed it. Our brains are still like the brains of our ape ancestors on the plains of Africa, struggling to survive and perpetuate our genes. Do whites want to go extinct? Do blacks want to go extinct? Do Yorubas want to go extinct? Do Igbos want to go extinct? I’m not in support of killing anybody. But self-preservation is a must.

My own ancestors are not from ape sha. I just said I should quickly chip that in. Back to the matter: Will BAT do better in that regard? 

This isn’t the question. The question is: will any of his opponents do better?

Yes Obi, Sowore can do better.


Come and see. You once shared this with me

Okay. Valid. That’s been the only reasonable thing I’ve seen OBIdients come up with. When I saw this, the only counter argument I had was that it’s a known fact that big economies tend to grow at a lower pace compared to smaller ones. And second, if the data is even true sef. You sure know what they call the Law of Diminishing Returns?

It is clear that your ethnic sentiment is shouting over your logical reason in your head. Can you hear it too?

What are the logical reasons in my head?

You can have data, but you think it has to be wrong.

No. I’m not saying it’s wrong. I got hooked by it. But I’ve valid questions. What’s the source?

OK. Open your mind still.


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I, Bayode Otitokoro, fell in love with the truth from childhood. My mantra is: in an unjust society silence is a crime. With satire, I will clad my society in the attire of sanity.

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