Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

COVID-19: Nigerians’ refusal to say please, the genesis of Buhari’s silence

The Parosident has refused to speak, unlike his counterparts in many other countries battling the virus because he hates Showoff and cheap politics. If not, what’s the big deal in setting up a press conference and having him read a prepared address to Nigerians? Even if the speech gets mixed up and does not really relate to the issue at hand. It’s not like Nigerians have choices. They can only shout and talk, nothing more.

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From Our Allies

The first citizen | ‘Kunmi Olamiju

Speaking of gold, I apologise for the delay in the latest shipment. That rodent—you see how he keeps coming up?—has been attacking the mines. You’d think the country with the largest reserve of minerals in the world would be able to shrug off disruptions caused by a ragtag band? I’m surrounded by incompetents. I might take your daughter’s suggestion and insist appointed ministers are vetted first. But we would need a legislature in place for that.

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The T.A. Report

Coronavirus: Groups of immune Nigerians set to assemble in mosques, churches for prayer sessions

Some Muslims, obtained WhatsApp chats have revealed, also believe the virus outbreak is God’s way of punishing disbelieving nations and bad people in general. Dr Abubakr Imam Aliagan, a “renowned Islamic scholar”, has in fact encouraged Muslims to continue visiting mosques for prayers in their numbers since they are spiritually fortified against the plague.

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