… where sa-tyres never go flat
… where sa-tyres never go flat
I have finally been revived by the amazing intervention of two Pepsi bottles passed into my body through drip at the Maitama Hospital. And I know it is high time I came forth to comment on all that happened before the investigative committee on the 20th of this month.
Mr President sir, it is because of this that we believe that distracting them will be the best option to douse the tensed atmosphere of the nation. You know Nigerian youth, sir, when you called them lazy, you were right and only being factual sir; they will forget their clamours and agitations as soon as there is something to entertain them. They will forget their pitiable conditions and get so absorbed in the ecstasy of their temporary eldorado.
Despite running for 60 years, the series has gone uncredited. Nobody has claimed to be the writer, producer, or director of the show. Actors just spring up every now and then, receive their scripts, play their roles, and move on.
“The entire national assembly probe is a script we’ve written since last year and this fainting episode is meant to be the season finale,” he said. “But see what happened? My whole reputation is on the line. My career is in shambles and I’m even starting to question my life purpose.”
First, your groundbreaking discovery on ‘kovid-one-nine’ is, no doubts, compelling and indelibly etched into the sands of time. All thanks to you, we now know that corruption is the cause of the pandemic. You needn’t be adorned with a lab coat, neither did you go through the troubles of conventional scientific research, you solved a global mystery before anyone could say Jack; a feat deserving of a Nobel prize.
PASTOR AJAYI: Calm down, let me talk. Since the beginning of lockdown, these people have refused to send their tithe. The church has not been receiving the alert of their 10%. Even when the church, in its magnanimity, sent bulk SMS to them to remind them, they refused to wire the money. The message even contained the church’s account details o. Still, they refused to send it. Parrot, I am angry.
Orderly elections are not alien to us in Nigeria. We’ve seen it happen over and over again. We’re even tired of seeing it — so tired that we have a steady decline in PVC collection rates and voter turnouts in every election year. One can even assess — in advance — the level of peace by giving attention to the words of the Umbrella and Broom people. They have been exchanging words of peace with each other as the elections beckons.
Amidst other questions their naive officers need answers to, the DSS also needs some advice on how he was able to transfer funds abroad via a third party. For only he can do these things, and there is no one like him. No. Don’t say the bush meat has caught the hunter. Say the bush meat volunteered to enter the hunter’s pot.
Starting with the ongoing N-Power registration, reliable news outlets have it that over 3 million Nigerians have applied for the scheme within a week. In my considered view, this high number underscores the fact that this regime is doing enough to provide for its unemployed population. This number could have easily been in the range of a figure with two numbers preceding six “zeros” if not for the unprecedented efforts of the committed and fatherly president that we are highly privileged to have.
Front-line Health Workers: n, 1. People with a special type of face mask, sitting (or standing) in the same position everyday, while giving updates of things going on at the isolation centres. 2. A group of medical personnel treating infected persons for free as part of their service to humanity.
