BREAKING: UI to change name to University of Intolerance
Soon, Nigeria’s premier university, University of Ibadan, will seize to be called its name. Plans have been set to change its current name to the University of Intolerance. This move…
Omi tuntun washes off Penkele’s mess in UI, UItes claim
Rain, which many residents of the University of Ibadan have termed “omi tuntun” (sign of new dawn), has yesterday done a great deal of wreck to some amenities of the…
REVIEW: A peep at Elnathan John’s witty takes on Be(com)ing Nigeria
This body of work is well-constructed if it were to be compared to a lego house, it is relevant (not least due to Nigeria’s heated political climate), and it is proof that Satire is by no means a dead art form in these parts.
‘Underage voting is not new, and certainly not wrong!’
In Nigeria, only persons above the age of 18 are eligible to vote in an election. Therefore, anyone below 18 is regarded as underaged and consequently ineligible. However, while explaining…
PROGNOSIS: 10 things to look out for 10 years from now given the rise of small parties in Nigeria
Needless to say, one of the biggest beneficiaries of the boom era of smaller parties will be designers, logo makers especially. Apparently, asides the name, the other most important thing about a party is its logo. The lines. The colours. The choice of emblems and animals. Ah-mean, when it comes to content development, no one really gives one hoot about aim and objectives, mission and vision, ideologies, constitution, and that useless one they call manifesto. Graphic designers should therefore get ready for a career make-over that’ll financially elevate them above university professors and possibly even medical doctors.
Ajimobi is still my father—Penkelemesi
With just few days to the governortorial, I mean, gubernatorial election, the candidate of the All Progressives Congress in Oyo State, Mr Bayo Adelabu popularly known as Penkelemesi, has reaffirmed…
We want our own constituency at NASS — internet users tell INEC
Given the results of various polls conducted on the internet in the buildup to the general elections, many Nigerians had expected Sowore, Moghalu, or Atiku Abubalar to be declared winner. A new study has, however, revealed that social media has not fully penetrated the Northern region, especially the 3 K’s of Kano, Kaduna, and Katsina. The study also found that internet users in the South are 72 percent more likely to spend their day trolling, mailing subs, or watching Game of Thrones, than voting for their preferred candidates.
VAR to be used to determine true winners of Feb 23 elections
ABUJA — ALL hope may not be lost to restore the “stolen mandates” of top politicians in Nigeria’s Feb 23 presidential and national assembly elections. This is because a new…
Fake news is good for the brain — study shows
“Fake news is like breast milk. When you lack adequate measure of it, you may not be able to think for yourself but live on the precepts of daily newspapers who tell you what is not when you can think for yourself. You should always recourse to the philosophical proposition of the great René Descartes ‘corgito ergo sum’ translated in English as ‘I think, therefore I am’. It is worthy to note that it is ‘I’ not ‘they’ or ‘the newspapers’,” he
Smaller parties ask INEC to share void votes equally among them
“Nigerians do not recognise the importance of our parties. They are saying on Twitter that we should be checking our results through JAMB scratch cards. Don’t they know that smaller parties are needed in a democracy to make things lively? Besides, how can Nigerians get the coveted title of ‘former presidential/senatorial candidate’ if there are only two parties? Don’t they know that these parties are like universities, while we are the polytechnics and colleges of education?”
#NigeriaDecides2019: Why you need to sell your votes
Election days are special days. And special days often come with special offers and surprises. One of such offers which politicians and voters alike are carefully awaiting to give —…
‘How do we survive for four years if we don’t sell our votes?!’
“Take for instance, the last time we had an election. My family was given two bags full of Kuli Kuli and Garri to Vote for Party A. On the election day, party B offered us a cylinder full of groundnut and some bags of Garri. That is what we have been eating for the past 4 years. And it only finished just yesterday, this yesterday”.
Prayer points will now count as votes, INEC tells voters who won’t come out to vote
ABUJA — In case you have the plan to stay at home in the coming elections without voting, then you just got a boost because, other things than votes casted…
INVESTIGATION: How APC, PDP “rent crowd” to fill up campaign venues
The huge turnout of crowd in the recent campaigns by Nigeria’s major political parties is part of the deal struck with a mobilization company, this newspaper can authoritatively report. Disguising…
Nigeria’s potholes experience calculated massacre as election season approaches
Though the rising level of infrastructural development or seeming development is a national phenomenon, The T.A. Report gathers that Lagos State is an exception. It is reported that capital-intensive projects in the Centre of Excellence currently suffer unusual neglect as the governor, Akinwunmi Ambode, has abandoned office for a more pragmatic role of “APC campaign rally strategist and bench-warmer”.
Giant Abuja broom wins Guinness World Record for ‘stupidest campaign object’
“We would normally expect that it takes decades before this record is broken in another political campaign. But, with the level of passionate competitiveness observable in Nigeria’s politics, we suppose anything really is possible. Giant squirrels, chickens, trees, and so on, we never can tell.”