Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

Before you join the cyberspace

Before you join the cyberspace

by: Kuti Fatiha

With the way people are signing up for different social media apps, you would think their life depends on it, or maybe there is an easter egg to be won or it holds the ticket to the afterlife. But you know, as your fave partner, I have got your back, so I would hint you on ways you can spot and benefit from the social media influencer circle. Here is a list of some of the people you would have come across on the street:

– The Influencer:

These are the big social media people, telling you to DM for Ads and Promotions, with just a follower. Respect them, because you never can tell when you would need their help even with a follower that they have.

– The Grammar Police:

What these peeps are after is to ensure that everyone understands the rule of concord without making jest of such person. They correct people without making the person feel bad of not knowing the rules.

– The Fake Cabal:

These ones that post about taking Pizza whereas they’re drinking Garri and Kuli in the comfort of their shanties. This kind of people do live their life on Social Media, albeit fake, and what’s your own if they are telling you how their day went and what they’re having for dinner? Let them enjoy it while it last. Future Reality TV Show Star.

– The ‘I don’t care attitude’ League:

They post with their full chest, without blocking any of their family members. Why block them when someone else will show them? They don’t care about what people think of them, as long as what they do to them is right.

– Pictures only Geng:

This set of people only care about snapping pictures, with captions that don’t match, which one is ‘Look at me, don’t look at the caption‘. Are we supposed to look at the background?

– The Monitoring Spirit:

This set of people should be awarded as agents of the FBI, because the energy they channel in researching lost posts and previous digital footprints in unrivalled. They want to know every details of a viral post, so as to satisfy their curiosity and feed their gossip mongers.

– The Dubbers:

Yes, these are the copy cats. Who never copy, hands in the air; No hands? If you would like to emulate the attributes of your role model, so why do you care if someone steals your post?

– The Unstable Collective:

For this category, don’t mind them if they say they’re not online because they’re reading books and are not bothered about what’s going on. It’s a facade, deep down they want to be involved but are limited (no free Wi-Fi to use), so they may not be frequent on the socials.

Signing up for social media apps today is seen as a big deal especially when you’re an influencer. The ball is in your court, to decide which kind of personality you wants to be. 

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