by: Maitre Jammy
Why would anyone who could scribe ‘zero’ with a bottomless bottle be a public university lecturer in Nigeria? A synonym of ‘a criminal’ in this country. You may choose to be a medical doctor, legal practitioner, engineer, journalist, obscurant or a less mendacious politician and be paid handsomely but never be a public university lecturer because your calling is a criminal offence in Nigeria, more criminal than official corruption. This is a pro bono piece of advice. Take heed!
Standing firmly on the mount of Aso Rock to defend our ever overtly responsible government, whoever thinks otherwise, should come out so we could prosecute him for speaking against the constituted authority. I am one of the leaders of tomorrow (if tomorrow comes), since no Nigerian leader of tomorrow needs any university education to become one, for that reason, I solemnly affirm to defend the leaders of today.
This current administration is the best Nigeria has had, not only because it is trying effortlessly to punish unrepentant offenders parading as public university lecturers, but also making sure that, the innocent parties (students) are not fully criminally responsible for the acts and omissions of the principal offenders (lecturers) which is why they (students) are compelled to sit at their parents’ homes for borstal training.
The following underscore the criminal activities of lecturers in public universities in Nigeria:
Firstly, the request of funding and revitalization of Nigerian public universities is maliciously motivated, reprehensibly offensive, retrospective and self-serving because the members of Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) do not want innocent presidential candidates to focus more on their campaigns. University students need no vitality to study in less-revitalized university campuses. Students do not even mind if their universities are dubbed ‘glorified secondary schools’ and why should Nigerian universities be compared with other African universities? Our religious leaders have taught us that such a competition breeds rivalry, thus, it should be avoided. And nothing is too despicably wrong about the best university in Nigeria being ranked 1231th in the world, after all, there are too much universities in the world already. So, who cares about Nigerian universities?!
Who exactly does ASUU need his attention? The Minister of Education for State who has picked the APC Expression of Interest and Nomination Form for APC Presidential Primary for N100 million? ASUU does not allow Minister of Labour and Employment to focus more on his political aspiration? Lecturers’ huge demand (N1.3 trillion to be paid in six tranches starting from 2013) is too much for the government to bear; it makes Honourable Minister at the Federal Ministry of Education sick. Why should Mr President hear about the industrial action when he has ministers to represent him? Can’t the university lecturers leave so our peoples’ choices could live?
Secondly, lecturing in public universities in Nigeria is a felonious offence which attracts imprisonment for fourteen years upon conviction. Why would the university lecturers through ASUU, be challenging their employers? Who are public lecturers to apprise the government on how Nigerian federal universities should look like? Who are they to reject IPPIS, and recommend UTAS after the Accountant-General of the Federation has rejected it? What a radical insubordination! Federal government says UTAS fails the integrity test but NITDA says it passes, wise or otherwise? Are you counting the count charges against the public university lecturers?
Emphatically, anyone who chooses to impart knowledge on any student at any federal university is committing a grievous crime, upon conviction at a Federal High Court, he may be liable for imprisonment for fourteen years. If he remains so adamantly litigious like the national President of ASUU, and appeal the case, Court of Appeal may reduce the sentence to 12 years and if he employs the service of many SAN’s, Supreme Court may reduce it to 10.
You read it very well, lecturing is now an offence in Nigeria. You must be searching the Constitution or the Criminal Code or Penal Code or an Act of National Assembly to confirm the veracity of that assertion. It is an Order-in-Council, a decree, validly made and pronounced by a minister, yet to be codified.
Why won’t they be criminals when they decide not to impart knowledge on our greatest Nigerian university students but take huge amount of money as salaries? Who does that?! Besides, those lecturers are the ones teaching students to revolt against this administration. This government will teach them the lesson of their lives; it will starve them, force them to work, stop paying their salaries or alternatively, lay them all off. This government will employ new set of lecturers from India or France or Italy or Russia or USA and from any other countries where their lecturers are paid lesser than Nigerian lecturers to teach the students. These new lecturers, government will make sure that their salaries are deductible without any reason. The new lectures will be unable to pay their debts even through a bank loan, and will be unable to purchase a bag of garri (if they chew cassava flake) from their remunerations.
What is the problem of Nigerian lecturers when the Constitution says free university education and by extension conducive learning environments in Nigerian universities shall be provided by the government only ‘as and when practicable’? It is not yet practicable, it has never been practicable since 1999. But ASUU wants it now and that is why they are criminals because lex non cogit ad impossibilia, put in another language, not even the law commands the impossibility but ASUU is trying to do! And someone says they should be paid?!
What is the utility of Nigerian university lecturers aside teaching the Computer Science students on how to become a cyber criminal? Teaching Law students to cite laws on why presidential pardon should be exercised judicially, judiciously and juridically? Educating students of economics on how to analyze the deplorable state of Nigerian economy? What have the Nigerian public lecturers produced? Medical students that could not treat their President at home? Journalists that only attack the government of the day? Sycophant political students? Accounting students who are cashiers at a Baba Ijebu kiosk? So, none of the lecturers should be paid henceforth.
Who will not adore our responsive government doing everything humanly possible to make sure no one perpetrates any crime again nor engage in any corruption? The new policy ‘no work, no pay’, will instrumentally deter every university lecturer from committing more heinous crimes just as the prerogative of mercy has deterred the pardoned governors from official corruption. The borders are open now and any lecturer who disagrees with our government’s concerted efforts to fight corruption should leave.
This government is trying its best possible to reconstruct and rebuild university education without the public lecturers’ contributions by making sure that students sit at their parents’ homes as long as possible. After all, most educated folks with university education are the ones causing problems in Nigeria so there is a need to strategically force them out of this country.
Nigerian youths should be undereducated. We don’t need overtly educated people who will be analyzing the problems without proffering solutions in this country like Prof Farooq Kperogi. So, the best way to do this is to criminalise those that teach them at the university and their punishment shall be the new policy ‘no work, no pay’ and we say to their students ‘no school, go play’.
What we need in Nigeria is not funding and revitalizing the public universities but rather reneging on our agreement with ASUU and then forcing lecturers out of work by not paying them so Nigerian vibrant septuagenarians could obtain primary presidential ticket for N100 million without batting an eyelid and during the election, we could use the students as our political campaigners and their lecturers, returning officers.