I can’t forget the month Of FeBuhari
There is no way Nigerians should forget this month. Not because it’s been five years of repositioning Nigeria back to its rightful place in Africa, but because my eardrums and memory keep replaying the song, chorused by well-meaning, but blindfolded Nigerians five years ago. The chants of welcome to the month of FeBUHARI; a chant coined by Bubu supporters in a bid to sell the alleged converted democrat to Nigerians, and also to signify a new dawn for Nigeria, after — according to them — “the 16 years of destruction by the PDP.”
Atiku applies to US for Nigerian birth certificate
Alabere Williams, a US-based Nigerian neurosurgeon, explained that the behavioural patterns of Atiku are suggestive of a condition known as paranoid schizophrenia. “The man seems to see the United States as some sort of father or god figure whom he runs to whenever he’s in trouble, and the delusion is getting worse by the day,” he said with a concerned look.
Smaller parties ask INEC to share void votes equally among them
“Nigerians do not recognise the importance of our parties. They are saying on Twitter that we should be checking our results through JAMB scratch cards. Don’t they know that smaller parties are needed in a democracy to make things lively? Besides, how can Nigerians get the coveted title of ‘former presidential/senatorial candidate’ if there are only two parties? Don’t they know that these parties are like universities, while we are the polytechnics and colleges of education?”
INVESTIGATION: How APC, PDP “rent crowd” to fill up campaign venues
The huge turnout of crowd in the recent campaigns by Nigeria’s major political parties is part of the deal struck with a mobilization company, this newspaper can authoritatively report. Disguising…
Giant Abuja broom wins Guinness World Record for ‘stupidest campaign object’
“We would normally expect that it takes decades before this record is broken in another political campaign. But, with the level of passionate competitiveness observable in Nigeria’s politics, we suppose anything really is possible. Giant squirrels, chickens, trees, and so on, we never can tell.”
2019: IT IS EITHER BUHARI OR BUHARI.
Nigerians can be funny. Rather than rejoice and applaud the gallant stride of the Buhari-led administration for delivering the Dapchi schoolgirls from Boko Haram, they choose to use their suspicious…